Is It Wrong That I Love You?
by RzPz922
Summary: Kenny McCormick might be a bit of a sex freak. But that doesn't mean he can't change, mend his life. Learn to truly love. At least, with a little help from Wendy Testaburger. Bunny, one-sided Kendy, and a surprise pair to come at the end! Strict T rating for violence, swearing, and mild sexual themes.
1. The Breaking Encounter

I've never felt like much of a life-changer. I've always just kind of been there. It wasn't until about two or so months ago I found my first opportunity. Lunch hour had just started and I really needed to pee. I know, too much information. As I approached the bathroom, I heard some masculine grunts and feminine groans. I considered going up to the upstairs bathroom, but I really, REALLY had to pee, so I just rushed in. Sometimes I wish people would just screw in their own homes, but if these two had waited, I'd never have experienced true growth. There in the bathroom, front stall wide open, was Kenneth McCormick. Screwing my best friend, Bebe Stevens.

"God dammit, Kenneth." I say. "This again?"

Yeah, that wasn't the first time I'd walked in on dearest Kenny the Slut. Last time he was doing Red.

"Fuck, did I leave the door open again?" Kenny grumbled, pulling his pants up.

Bebe turned bright red and pulled her red sweater back over her shoulders.

"You always forget to close it. You do this too much, Kenneth. I think you need help." I casually leaned up against the wall, even though I still REALLY had to pee.

Kenny sighed, buttoning his pants and joining me by the sink. Bebe ran off, still bright red in the face.

"I guess I'm lucky it's only you. If Stan or Kyle or Cartman found me in here I'd never hear the end of it." He said quietly.

"Dammit. You don't have to do this all the time, you know. It's not like it helps anything. Your family's still in debt, you still don't have enough to eat every night, your brother's still dead. Having sex in the bathroom doesn't fix anything."

Kenny instantly deflates at the mention of his dead brother. He may not have been very close to Kevin, but it still hit him pretty hard to hear he'd been in a car crash after a party. That was when it got worse.

"I know it's not going to bring Kevin back, Wendy."

"But does it really help you? Does it make you feel any better?" Kenny sighs and looks at the floor, downtrodden. "Yeah, I get it. Okay, meet me at Stark's Pond this afternoon. I really have to pee right now."

Finally Kenny leaves and I run into another stall, mulling over everything that just happened. The boy's had sex with every girl in our grade. I only know this because I'm not one of them. This is the second time he's been with Bebe. Strange that Kenny McCormick, the king of deflowering girls or, 'Lord of the Vag', as Craig calls him, refuses to even try deflowering me when he's done everyone. That sounded a lot less perverted in my head.

God dammit.


	2. The Pre-Test

God damn you, Kenny McCormick. Is the reason walking in on you screwing my friends makes me mad because I wish it was me you were screwing? I sighed, pacing around Stark's Pond. No, of course not. I was still hung up over Stan, right? Oh, fuck Stan. Probably the only reason I knew everything I did about Kenny was because Stan had come out a few months ago and broken up with me, the asshole. He was gay for Kyle, of course, so I couldn't get sympathy from him. The day Cartman gives anyone comfort is the day a rat crawls out my ass, and none of my girl friends had any experience with this crap. The last thing I expected was Kenny to befriend me, though. He was my shoulder to cry on. When his brother died, I was his. I was the only one who knew just how often he had sex because he trusted me.

"Hey, Wendy." Kenny said quietly, walking towards me.

"Afternoon, Kenneth." I said. "Ready for the healing?"

"What are you, my therapist?" He snorts.

"Take a look at the situation, hm? You tell me."

Kenny grins faintly.

"See, this is why you and I can be friends, Wendy."

"I'm glad you can say that, Kenneth. I believe you have too much sex. It can't be good for you, and it can't be good for the girls you screw." It can't be very good for me, either. "So I've decided it's high time you find yourself a real relationship. An intimate, non-sexual one. You need to fall in love."

Kenny stared at me like I'd just sprouted a second head.

"Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to fall in love? I only know how to fall in lust."

I couldn't help but snort. At least he admits it.

"That's where I come in. Who's the girl that's known precisely what love is and how to recognize it since third grade?"

"Fair point. Okay, how do we get me to fall in love?"

I took Kenny's shoulders and gave him a smile.

"Kenneth, my friend, leave it to me."

I led Kenny back to my house, where I snuck him into my room through the window. If my dad knew I let a boy in our home, he would kill me. I'm not even exaggerating.

"Okay. Before you can actually love, first you have to learn _how _to love. Hang on a second." I got on my computer and pulled up a few pictures. "What do you think when you see this photo of Scarlett Johansson?"

Kenny grinned a wide, toothy grin, then covered it up.

"Um..." He said.

"Be completely honest." I demanded.

"Well..." Kenny rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd totally bang her..." He admitted quickly.

"Alright. Now what do you think when you see this photo of Jennifer Lawrence?"

"I'm all for a threesome with her and Peeta."

I snorted. This time, instead of pulling up another picture, I reach down into my desk's basket and pull out the sophmore yearbook. I flip to our class and point to each girl.

"Lizzy."

"Ultra-sexy."

"Heidi."

"Perfect."

I kept going, skipping over myself, and for every girl he had a different synonym for 'hot'. At the end of the book, I flipped back to myself and pointed to the photo.

"That's you, Wendy." He says, puzzled.

"I know. I want to know what you think when you see me."

"I think of my friend Wendy, who's making me very uncomfortable by staring at me like that."

I paused a moment and shook my head. Every single girl he thought was hot. Every girl he wanted to bang again. Except me. I was the only girl who wasn't attractive in the eyes of Kenny McCormick.

"Alright. It looks like we've got a lot to work out. It's clear the first thing you look at in a girl is her boobs." I said quietly.

"Wendy, are you-" Suddenly, there was a rapping on the door.

"Dinner's ready, dear! Come on down!" My mom called.

"We'll talk tomorrow. Climb out through the window." I muttered. "Be right there, Mom!"

I watched Kenny crawl through the window, and once he was gone, I jumped down the stairs to the dinner table.

God fucking dammit.


	3. The Runaways

"Hi, Wendy." Bebe said when I got off the bus the next morning.

"Bebe." I said, waving absently. She jogged up to join me.

"Sorry about yesterday. I was going to tell Kenny he hadn't shut the door, but... Oh my God." She bit her lip and gave me a knowing look.

"Yeah. It's fine." I said dully.

"It was great, you know? Like when you do something, and you think you're never going to be able to do it again so you try to make it last as long as possible, but then you end up getting to do it again!"

She clung onto my arm and shook me enthusiastically as she spoke.

"Yeah, I got it, Bebe."

I shook her off and sped up. She didn't follow me. Bebe was the only one who wasn't afraid to tell everybody she had been with Kenny. Everyone else I'd run into begged me not to tell anybody, but Bebe would climb the Empire State Building with a megaphone and scream it for everyone to hear if she had the opportunity. That's why I don't like talking to her all that much anymore. She always finds a way to bring up all her one night stands.

I tried to make my way to the door so I could wait for the bell, but I was intercepted by Craig Tucker and his asshole friends.

"Hey, Wendy. We heard you walked in on Kenny with Bebe again. Is it true?" Clyde asked eagerly.

"It always is." I said.

"Well, what happened?" Craig asked in his usual monotone, shoving Tweek off his arm.

"The usual. They broke it off."

Token snorted.

"You're such a cockblock, Wendy." He said.

I smiled faintly. It never fails to amaze me how just pleasantly and casually nice Token can be even when he hangs out with assholes. But I guess I shouldn't say anything, I hang out with those guys almost as much as he does.

The guys all laughed and departed, but Craig strayed by me.

"It pissed you off." He said.

"What?"

"Kenny and Bebe. It pissed you off to see them again."

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Craig knows how I feel about Kenny. He knows that I _don't_ lust after Kenny. He knows that I _don't _want a one night stand with Kenny. He knows that I am completely in _love_ with Kenny. Yeah, the guy may not have emotions himself, but he can read them like an opened book. When Stan came out, Craig came to me and said he was sorry. When I asked him why, he explained he'd seen this shit coming from a mile away. I wish he would've told me, but nobody knows how Craig's mind works.

"Why are you so good at reading my mind?" I asked.

Craig shrugged. The bell rang and the two of us walked down the halls in silence.

It's never very much fun to be in a bad mood at school, especially not in this town. I openly refused to speak to anyone for the entire day, excluding lunchtime when Kenny asked me what the plan was.

"I'm going to teach you how to fall in love, of course." I said, as if it was entirely too obvious.

"Well duh, Wendy." Kenny snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll find a way. Indirect steps are all I've got right now."

"Are you okay?" I nodded slowly. "You're not. Bad day?" I nodded again. "Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. "Do you want to cut the day short or something?"

"I'm not sick, Kenneth."

"Of course you're not sick, Wendy. I mean cut school."

That actually sounded like a really great idea, but if my father found out he would bury me alive, dance on my grave while pouring gasoline all over it, then set it on fire. I'd never cut school before, though, and everyone I know had done it at least once, never getting caught. The school never does anything.

"...Sure." I said slowly.

Kenny smiled and took my hand. We got up and ran out to the back of the school. We kept running until we were a safe distance down the back path away from the school and skidded to a stop, laughing. Our hands were still entwined. I didn't ever want him to let go.


	4. The Beautiful Afternoon

_/Quick Author's Note! I got my first review in the last chapter, and I wanted to give the kind reviewer a quick thank you! So a big thank you to Leyna4eva! I really appreciate the review and the follow! _

_Oh, and I forgot to do this in previous chapters. South Park isn't my property, although that would be cool. It belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone./_

Of course Kenny did let go of my hand. I didn't mind, though. I had literally run away with him. And as we made our way off the path, sticking close together, that feeling I'd been missing for months filled my heart again. You know, that feeling of unquestionable love, where you know you could do anything with this person. Where you know you'll always feel safe with this person. I can't explain it, but in that moment, I felt safer with Kenny than I ever had with Stan.

"Where should we go?" I asked, catching my breath.

"I know a great place. Follow me!" Kenny said, and took my hand again.

Adrenaline rushed through me as we took off running again. I focused on my heartbeat and the sound of our boots clapping against the asphalt, which quickly changed to soft pounding against hard dirt. Soon we'd arrived at a beautiful, rather warm lake I'd never seen before, and Kenny pulled me up the trunk of a large tree where we sat up on a high branch.

"Wow." I breathed. "This place is amazing."

The air was quiet. The only real sounds you could hear was the soft splashing of the fish in the water to disturb the sun's gentle rays glistening off the surface of the lake.

"Isn't it? I mean, Stark's Pond is nice and all, but everyone goes there. This is a great place to be if you just need to clear your head, and hardly anyone comes up here." Kenny said. The two of us sat in silence for a moment, just listening to the calming sounds of the water. "Feel better yet?"

I laughed and punched Kenny's shoulder.

"Dammit, Kenneth, you ruined the moment!" I snorted.

Kenny smiled softly and squeezed my leg affectionately.

"Sorry. I just don't like when my friends are upset. Especially when they refuse to talk to me about it." He said.

"You know me. You know I don't deal with my problems by talking about them, I deal with them by turning them in my favor." Which is exactly what I'm trying to do. "But right now I just want to sit here with you and forget about it for a little while."

"Alright, I guess I can manage that."

I couldn't help but notice that Kenny kept his hand on my leg. I stayed sitting straight up on the tree branch at first, but as time passed I began to relax. First my head rested on his shoulder. Then my hand moved to his leg. Then up his back and draped across his shoulders. We ended up close together, arms around each other's shoulders in silence. The clouds moved across the sky, birds chirped and dragonflies buzzed. The air slowly got chillier until Kenny's watch beeped.

"School just ended." He said.

I knew he'd want to leave now. I also knew I should probably leave, too. But I didn't want to. Not just yet. So I placed a hand over the watch. Ignore the time right now. We'll get home later. I could tell he was about to protest, but felt him shrug and we relaxed back into our bliss. I just felt so comfy up in that tree with Kenny's arm around me, wrapped in his orange parka to keep me warm. I glanced up at him and it finally hit me. This was the first time I'd seen Kenny without his parka hood pulled over his face when he wasn't getting it on with someone. He still kept it on most of the time, his speech still just as muffled as when we were kids. I sometimes forgot, because of how easy it'd been for me to ignore the unclear muffle of his voice when he spoke, how easily I forgot his mouth was always covered in a scarf. He only takes it off when he's getting it on.

I took the opportunity to really study his face. I'd never noticed before, but he's covered in tiny little scars. He has piercing blue eyes, too, but his uncombed dirty-blonde hair is almost always covering them. When he smiled, I also noticed he's got a very prominent space where there's a tooth missing. It's endearing, though, because he still takes the best care of his teeth as he can, so it's like a little kid who just recently lost a tooth. He's unkempt and rugged, but in the most attractive way possible. It's funny how much of almost polar opposites he and Stan are, and how I've managed to fall in love with both.

"We should probably get going, Wendy." He said.

"You're right." I said, nodding. "Let's go."

We climbed down the tree and started running again until we were back near our neighborhood. I took a quick glance at Kenny's watch. 5:00

Thank goodness. I'd be back at the perfect time to convince my dad I was in some after-school activity instead of cutting class.

"See you tomorrow, Wendy." Kenny said quietly when we'd made it a block safe from my house.

"See you, Kenneth." I said. I tugged his parka off my shoulders and gave it back to him. "Oh, and by the way... You should take that hood off more often."

I left him with a slightly baffled look on his face and was already down the block before he could respond.

_/That went a lot quicker than I was expecting. I totally thought this would take into tomorrow, but apparently not. You guys get two chapters in one day. Happy... Arbor Day? Or something./_


	5. The Half-Friendship

_/Author's Note: Hey, guys! Welcome back to my story. Prepare yourselves for Wendy anger this chapter, and many uses of the word _fuck. _I don't think I overused it._

_South Park is property of Trey Parker and Matt Stone./_

I got a text message from Kenny the next morning.

_Feeling better today? Want to skip again?_

I smiled down at the glowing screen. It made my heart soar to know he cares about me enough to ask. I quickly texted back.

_Nah. See you there?_

It was hardly even a minute before the screen lit up again.

_Duh. Now get outta bed, lazy ass._

How did he know I was in bed? I glanced out my open window to see Kenny walking leisurely down the street. He noticed me watching him and pointed to his phone with a grin. I rolled my eyes and quickly got dressed. I brushed my long, long, long hair and stuffed my precious pink hat over it. Wanting to meet Kenny, I bounded down the stairs, slung my backpack over my shoulder, grabbed a banana, kissed my parents goodbye, and ran out the door. I had to jog a little to catch up with him, but I made it.

"Damn, that was fast." Kenny said as I fell into stride with him.

"I brought a to-go breakfast." I said, peeling the banana.

Kenny eyed it, and before I could take the first bite, he swooped down and stole it from under my nose.

"God damn it, and this is the best kind, too. I can never get those." He said, mouth full.

I glanced down at the defiled fruit and handed it to the gorgeous blonde boy. He looked at me questioningly, but I just shrugged and he accepted the gift. As he gratefully devoured it, I noticed that he'd left his hood down. Just seeing his unkempt face again filled my heart with love. I wanted to grab him and kiss him all over and tell him that I loved him and hear it right back from him. But I knew that wasn't what I would hear. Not from the boy who thinks I'm the only girl not attractive enough to get it on with. At least, for now.

Quickly enough, we made it to the bus stop, which pulled up right as we arrived. Kenny ended up sitting with that naive little sweetheart, Butters Stotch, and I sat across the aisle from them. I didn't care much for the idle chit-chat taking place between the two of them, so I just sat in silence, watching through the window as the world passed me by. When the bus stopped off at the school, Kenny and Butters got off on their own and abandoned me, so I made my way to the door again, meeting up with Craig. He greeted me with his famous middle finger and I retaliated.

"Tucker." I said.

"Testaburger." He replied.

I leaned up against the wall beside him and watched him fiddle absently with his nose piercing. Craig and I have a very... Unique friendship. It's really more of a compromise than a friendship, though. He lets me know everything he reads in others, and I give him company when I think he needs it. We don't talk all that much, though.

"Kenny's gay." He said suddenly.

"Kenny what?" I asked, caught completely off guard.

"Kenny McCormick? The one you're totally fucking in love with? He's gay."

I stayed silent for a moment, mulling over that. It's a joke, obviously. Kenny isn't gay. It's not possible. Not with how much FEMALES he's gotten it on with.

"Nice one, Tucker, you almost had me."

"I'm not kidding. Do I look like I'm kidding?" Craig never looks like he's kidding. That's why it's so hard to tell. But it's not possible. I refuse to believe that Kenny could ever be gay. "Would you rather I tell you now, or let him break your fucking heart like that asshole Stan did?"

That was it. I lost it. I stepped over angrily, grabbing Craig's jacket and pulling him down so he was nose-to-nose with me. His face flushed in fear.

"Listen close, Craig _Fucker,_" I snarled. "This had better be some sick idea of a joke, because if it is, I'm not hearing the punchline. I think we all learned long ago that you do not fuck with Wendy Testaburger."

I jabbed my index finger into his chest with each word.

"I'm not fucking with Wendy Testaburger." He said coldly, steely blue eyes narrowing. "I don't want her hurt again."

I shoved me off him and walked stiffly away, not missing the opportunity to hurl a backwards middle finger my way.

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.

_/Ah, I suppose I only used the word _fuck _about three times. Disregard the above thing then. See you in the next chapter, then I suppose./_


	6. The Fight

_/Hello kind readers, it's me again! I'd like to thank HoAcrazylover and Guest for their lovely reviews! They made my day! And as for the suggestion made by HoAcrazylover, we shall see! There will definitely be some Douchenozzle Stan in this chapter, however. That made me laugh. So, this chapter gets a little violent. I like writing violence, it's kinda fun!_

_Oh, before I forget, South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone./_

The first half of the day went on without anything too dramatic happening. I made it to lunch period perfectly fine. I didn't want to sit with the girls all that much, because I knew they'd only rip on me for being the only one still in possession of my 'flower'. So I made my way towards the boys' table and tried to find a seat near Kenny. I ended up having to squeeze in-between Clyde and... Stan. Shit. I probably should have thought this through.

"Oh, hey, Wendy." Stan greeted me awkwardly.

"Hello, Stan." I said.

"Leave the boy alone, Wendy." Cartman called out mockingly. "You can't change him from being a homo. Get back to the girls."

"You're a dumbass, Cartman." I said, shooting him a middle finger. "Fuck the girls."

Kenny snickered into his mittens.

"Why 'fuck the girls' Wendy?" Kyle asked politely.

"I only need a break. It is okay if I'm over here, right?"

Almost everyone nodded collectively, kindly allowing me to stay, except for Cartman, of course. Dick. I'm glad the whole 'girls and boys must be separated at all times' thing from elementary school has mostly gone out the window. Except for Cartman, of course.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second, Wendy?" Stan asked suddenly.

"Of course."

We stood up and moved a little ways away from the table.

"Did you really come over here to get away from the girls? Because if you came here to talk to me, I understand. I felt the same when you broke up with me." He said slowly.

Yeah, I remember that. He took it so hard he started hanging out with the goth kids and moping about how life was only pain and how meaningless everything was. I almost started laughing. Did he really think I wanted to be near him?

"I'm not here for you, Stan." I said. "It's fine. I'm over it."

"Are you sure? I totally get it if you aren't, I mean, we were together for a long-ass time."

"Stan." I said slowly.

"But I'm with Kyle now," He interrupted. "and you're just going to have to accept that I like boys."

I scoffed. Was Stan really arrogant enough to think I would still be that hung up over him? We split up two months ago! And we've already established that I'm a lot better at moving on than he is.

"Stan."

"Nothing can change that. It's not a disease or anything."

"Stan!" I shouted. "I get that you're a fucking homo, alright? If you're seriously arrogant enough to think I'm still hung up on you, then you have some issues. I'm not here to try and fucking change you or something. I'm over you! I'm here to speak to Kenneth!"

I clapped a hand over my mouth. I hadn't meant that to come out so fast. Or so rude. Or really at all. Stan cocked his head to the side.

"Kenny? What's so great about Kenny?"

"Hey, fuck you, Stan!" Kenny shouted from the table.

"That's none of your fucking business, Stan. I'm here to speak with Kenneth, and that's all you need to know."

"Well, why? I'm your ex-boyfriend, don't I get to know who your new boyfriends are?"

Jesus fucking Christ, what a self-absorbed prick! I was about to respond, but I noticed Craig whispering to Kenny out of the corner of my eye. Kenny said something back and Craig retaliated with another comment, then rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Leave her alone, Marsh. If she's here for Kenny, then she's here for Kenny. Why should you care, anyway, if you're into dudes?" He asked.

"Why should you care what I care about, Craig? She may not be my girlfriend anymore, but she was. I still have more jurisdiction to know her life than you."

"What if she doesn't want to tell you certain things? What if she doesn't trust you anymore?"

"Guys, I am right here." I interjected.

"Yeah yeah, shut up, Wendy." Stan said, pushing me back.

Craig advanced, moving away from the table and coming up nose-to-nose with Stan.

"Don't fucking touch her." He said, still remaining that calm demeanor of his.

"I'll touch her as much as I want." Stan said, and proceeded to poke me all over. I smacked his hand away and was shocked into a stupor by a quick stinging sensation across my face. That asshole had just slapped me.

"That's it," Craig snarled, and hit Stan with a kick to the stomach. He fell to the ground with a pained cry. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit girls?"

He turned away from Stan and studied my now reddening cheek. I saw Stan pull himself up and advance on Craig.

"Craig!" I shouted.

Craig turned around, face connecting with Stan's speedy fist. He wiped blood from his lip and counter-attacked with a kick to the groin. Quicker than I could register, the two boys were engaged in an all-out fist fight. I stepped in behind Stan and grabbed him around the neck, where I pulled him back and slammed him into the wall. I felt him tense, then he fell forwards into my arms. I dragged him over to Kyle and draped his unconscious body over the shocked Jewish boy.

"All yours. Sorry!" I said quickly. Kyle may be dating an asshole now, but he's still a nice guy and I'd feel bad if I didn't apologize.

I joined Craig again. He was slightly unbalanced. His mouth was a bloody mess and there was already a bruise forming slightly above his left eye. He brought a hand up to his eye and pulled it away, a few drops of blood straying on his fingers. I held his shoulders as he lost his balance almost completely. Kenny got up and joined us, taking Craig's other side.

"You two okay?" He asked, helping me drag the boy to the nurse's office.

"I'm fine. Are you okay, Craig?" I said.

Craig responded with a halfhearted thumbs-up that quickly transformed into a middle finger. _Yeah, _I thought. _he's okay._

_/Woohoo! Longest chapter yet! Sorry this took so long, guys, every time I sat down to write I kept getting interrupted. But I finally finished! I hope it was worth it. See you next time!/_


	7. The Fight's Aftermath

_/Hey guys, I'm back, and summer has officially begun! Hallelujah! I hope to be updating every few days, but if I'm not it's because of Film School. Well anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_And South Park originated from the awesomely fucked-up minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, sadly not me./_

Kenny and I led Craig to the nurse's office, where she had him wash out his bloody mouth and took a look at his teeth. It turned out that a few of those hard hits from Stan knocked out two of his teeth. One in the bottom back left and one in the top front. She told him he should walk himself to the dentist when she finished cleaning up his wounds, and while she dabbed at his bleeding eye, Kyle stormed through the door, dragging Stan behind him.

"Jesus fucking Christ..." He muttered angrily, slinging the unconscious boy onto a free cot. "If I didn't still give a fuck about you I'd kill you right here."

"You okay, Kyle?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry Stan was such an ass to you, Wendy."

"Don't worry about it, Kyle. Is he alright?"

"I think he's fine. You really gave him the what-for, though, holy shit. I forgot how goddamn badass you are."

I shrugged modestly.

"I'll be right with you, dear." The nurse said, tossing a bloody cloth in the garbage can. She doused a fresh cloth in antiseptic and handed it me. "Clean him up for me, will you dear? I have something to check on."

I took the cloth and started dabbing the cuts. Craig bit his lip and I saw the cut start to foam a little bit. Kyle took a quick glimpse at Craig when he'd balanced Stan against the wall.

"Dude, your teeth are fucked up." He remarked.

"No shit, Sherlock." Craig drawled, shooting Kyle the finger. "Ask your boyfriend what happened."

"Sorry, dude. But none of this would've happened if you'd just let well enough alone." Kyle said timidly. "He wouldn't have smacked Wendy if you hadn't said anything. He wouldn't have beaten the shit out of you if you'd just kept quiet."

Craig rolled his eyes.

"Just like always, huh? Always jumping to that asshole's defense when he's clearly in the wrong. He shouldn't have fucking touched her in the first place. If he'd kept his hands to himself..." He muttered.

"It's not his fault, you know! He skipped out on his 'medication' today!"

That's right, Stan has to take a shot of tequila every morning or else he turns into a cynical asshole. It's some pretty fucked-up medication if you ask me.

"That doesn't mean he needs you to jump to his defense. It's not like it's my fault he's a dick who needs alcohol to stay cool."

"Then who says Wendy needs you to jump to her defense? I think we all know she can take care of herself better than you can take care of her!" Kyle gestured to Stan's unconscious body.

Craig started to get up, but Kenny and I pushed him back down.

"Don't." Kenny said.

He let out an angry huff of a sigh and flipped Kyle the bird. Kyle retaliated.

"Just go fuck yourself, Broflovski."

I glanced over at Kyle. He was red in the face. I always forget about his temper. He's such a nice guy all the time, but when he gets really pissed off, it can be quite frightening. I nudged Kenny.

"Finish up with Craig. I'll calm Kyle down. We don't need another fight here." I murmured, and Kenny took my place. "Let's go back to lunch, Kyle. Kenny can keep an eye on Stan for you."

I started leading Kyle out of the room, but he turned back and tried to return to Stan.

"I want to stay with him. Craig might do something while I'm gone." He protested.

"I'll keep him safe, Kyle. You can trust me." Kenny said, raising his right hand. "Scout's honor."

"Were you ever even a Scout, Kenny?" Kyle asked skeptically.

"I don't think so. But do you really not trust me?"

Kyle shrugged and allowed me to lead him back to the lunchroom, where everyone was sitting in silence. Eyes followed us. Even those from the girls' table. Red came up to meet me.

"Are you okay, Wendy? I saw Stan hit you." She asked.

"I'm fine." I said.

"You're bleeding." Bebe pointed out.

I brought my hand to my face and felt a little drop of blood on the edge of my lip. I wiped it off and followed Red back to the girls' table, where excited chatter erupted about the short-lived fight. I let everything flurry around me, waiting for the bell to ring.

_/Wow that ending was awkward. I couldn't think of any other way to end this chapter without it dragging on for ages. I hope I've made up for the lack of Jewish Temper in the last chapter. I keep forgetting about that. See you guys later!/_


	8. The Project's Beginning

_/Welcome back! I haven't got a whole lot to say today, so let's just get right to the story. South Park, not mine... Yada yada./_

The rest of the day dragged on like a snail riding on a turtle's back in slow motion. Slow. As. Fuck. Anyway, I spent the entirety of the day trying to get my emotions straight. I couldn't quite tell what I was feeling as of that fight. Stan is a dick, but I feel bad for him, and I feel guilty for knocking him out. So I suppose Kyle's anger was justified, but that didn't excuse him being a dick, either. I was also pissed at Craig for feeling the need to defend me when he didn't need to, and, like Kyle said, not leaving well enough alone.

School couldn't have ended soon enough. As soon as the bell rang I made my way outside and headed for the backseat of the bus. Kenny caught up and sat with me, but I didn't make him leave. He's the only one I want to be around. He wiped at some dry blood on my lip with his thumb and stared at me with concern in his stunning blue eyes.

"You alright?" He asked.

I nodded slowly.

"I'm okay," I said, but I wasn't that convincing since my voice cracked. I could feel hot tears filling my eyes.

"Hey, everything's okay. No one got too badly hurt. Craig can get his mouth fixed up and Stan only has a mild concussion. They'll both be fine." Kenny said comfortingly.

A choked gasp escaped my mouth and the tears poured down my face. Kenny let me fall into his arms and held me close to him. I felt my heartbeat speed up as I sobbed into his chest. I don't know what happened. I guess the pressures of the day just got to me and I couldn't take it. Kenny kept me in his arms until we made it to our bus stop, then led me back to his house.

"Th-thanks Kenny." I stammered.

"Don't worry about it. You probably don't want to go home crying, do you?" He said. I shook my head and wiped my eyes. "Hey, you called me Kenny."

I stared at him.

"Would you _rather _I called you Kenneth?" I wiped my nose.

"Well you know. You've never called me Kenny before. Everything's always official with you."

I shrugged. I like sounding professional. It's nice to sound more intelligent than others. Even some adults. Kenny smiled and sat down on his tattered, slightly too small bed. He patted a seat next to him and I sat there.

"What should we do?" I asked.

"Well, we're not going to do homework, that's for sure. I think we should get that stupid fight out of your head."

"Okay. Um, let's start working on you." I made it sound like he was a project. Actually, he kind of was a project. He nodded. "So, the first step to true love is to recognize what you like in a person. A suitable significant other should also be a suitable best friend. So what do you want in a friend?"

"Well, I think I want them to be loyal, funny, sensitive, understanding, and other shit like that." He listed off. "Someone I'd feel comfortable talking about everything to."

I make a mental note of all those traits.

"Good. Those are great attributes. Now, they should also share some interests of yours. They shouldn't be exactly like you, but the more similarities you share, the more date opportunities you'll share. What are your hobbies, your pastimes?"

Kenny brought his finger to his chin and thought a moment.

"Let's see... I _don't_ like skiing or snowboarding, definitely not sledding, or heights, or really any winter sports... So we can exclude those things." He muttered to himself.

Winter sports are one of the only things you can do in South Park. I wonder what's got him so weird about that stuff. He continued listing off things he doesn't like, most of which he's encountered multiple times.

"Okay, Kenneth, I think we've covered everything you don't like. Is there anything you _do _like?"

"I guess all the things I like are more on an emotional level... Or physical..." You don't think? "I like being around my friends when they're not being assholes, and keeping people company or whatever. Video games and action movies are great, too."

I'd known I was right in assuming that Kenny's the calm one compared to his friends, but I'd never thought of him as that paranoid about the world. It seems everything he didn't like was something Tweek would be freaking out about. What, is he afraid the world is going to kill him or something? The world can be a shitty place, but not everything is going to kill you.

"Alright, so it seems that we're looking for someone pretty tame if you're looking for someone to spend a lot of time with. Unless you're looking for a nice contrast to your personality, I think about half the school is out."

"I'm just looking for someone to love. Contrast or not, I don't care."

I smiled.

"Okay. So far you're looking for someone loyal, funny, sensitive, and understanding who doesn't mind your friends and won't force you into anything 'dangerous'. Does anyone come to mind fitting this description?"

I saw a glint in Kenny's eyes and his cheeks turned slightly pink.

"There might be someone."

"Who?"

My heart ached to hear my own name. I wanted him to love me as much as I love him. I wanted him to say my name more than I'd ever wanted anything before.

"I'd rather not say." He mumbled.

I sighed and stared him straight in the face, determined to get a clear answer out of him.

"You _must!_" I hissed dramatically. Kenny shook his head. He was acting like a little boy with a schoolyard crush. I remembered what Craig said to me that morning. "Are you gay, Kenneth?"

"Am I _what?!_" He cried.

"Are you romantically attracted to boys? Don't lie to me. I've already gone through this

once."

Kenny didn't answer. He just stared at me like I was a stain on his wall, which there are tons of, by the way. His 'I'm totally lost' face was adorable, and all I wanted to do was kiss him. But I wouldn't. Not until he gave me a clear answer. I repeated the question and tapped my foot like an impatient mother waiting to hear a confession from a child. He finally opened his mouth.

_/Who's a bitch? I'm a bitch! Hooray for cliffhangers! I hope I played that out alright. That is one of my first real cliffhangers that'll probably tick someone off. But, you know. I'm just terrible and I like to leave people hanging like that. See you next time, I hope!/_


	9. The Confession

_/This has taken a little bit, hasn't it? Sorry, I didn't actually mean for there to be this much of a break, my computer totally spazzed out._

_Aaaand South Park doesn't belong to me. I wish it did, though! That'd be cool./_

"Jesus Christ..." Kenny muttered. "What did Craig tell you?"

I paused for a moment. I didn't know that Kenny knew that Craig knew everything. Wow that was confusing.

"He told me you were gay." I said slowly.

"Fuck that emotionless prick... He exaggerated." Exaggerated? How do you exaggerate someone being gay? "I'm not full-on 'gay'. I'm, uh... I'm bi curious."

I let out the anxious breath I didn't know I'd been holding in relief. He's unsure. He might be into boys, he might be into girls, he might be into both. I still have a two-thirds chance with him. I was so relieved that I collapsed onto my back on the bed. _Thank God._

"Alright. So, we've already established that you might have interest in a certain someone. Is this certain someone a girl or a boy?" I asked.

Kenny lowered his head, but I could see slight hints of a blush on his cheeks.

"I'd rather not say."

_Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me... _I thought with a frustrated sigh. When is this boy going to open up?

"Kenneth, I can't help you win them over if I don't know who the object of your affection is. You have to tell me."

"Why does it matter? I've told you what I'm looking for. That should be enough."

God dammit, he had a point. That should've been all I needed to know, and I couldn't get around it. Now that I think about it, all I really wanted was to know who it was so I could know who to sabotage. It ended up being pretty obvious it wasn't me, and since he was avoiding the question, it had to be a boy. I sighed and gave it up.

"Good point. Well, I suppose we can move on. The Kenneth Project has officially begun, and we shall start with the most important rule of true love. One of the main things you need to remember is that whoever you're trying to win over, whether it's a girl or a boy, appearance _does not matter._" I enunciated.

Kenny cocked his head to the side. I figured he'd be a little confused at this 'Golden Rule of Romance'. Since third grade all he cared about was if a girl would let him touch them.

"It doesn't?"

"No, it doesn't. What matters is personality and real romantic connection. Can you spend meaningful time with this person without always wanting to screw? Do you care about this person? Does this person care about you? You must be able to recognize true love when you feel it. It should confuse you, hurt you, but bring you imminent joy all at the same time." Kenny lifted a finger to try and respond, but I was on a roll. "When you see the object of your affection, you should feel happy all over, your heart should speed up, and there should be nothing you want more than to hug them close and never let them go. That's how you know that you're in love."

Kenny waited a moment to see if I'd continue. When I didn't, he smiled and gave me an affectionate shove.

"That sounds totally gay," He said slowly, as if it was the most important thing to ever come out of his mouth. "and love is really fucking weird."

I rolled my eyes and punched his arm, then we started laughing. We spent the rest of the afternoon working on The Kenneth Project. I didn't go home that night. I skipped out on my homework that night. I fell asleep with Kenny that night, cozied up to his chest with his arm sleepily around me. For the first time in months I felt truly loved. Truly cared for. I couldn't remember the last time I fell asleep with Stan, the last time he held me like that, the last time he let me cozy up to him like that. In fact, now that I think about it, I should have seen our breakup coming a mile away. For months, Stan had become very distant with me. He didn't like when I tried to cuddle with him, he didn't talk all that much, and when we kissed it felt a lot... Less passionate than it used to. It was obvious in retrospect that he wasn't in love with me anymore, and I should've seen that coming.

I woke up the following morning to the sound of a bottle smashing and an angry shout from Kenny's mother. Kenny threw off the covers instantly and ran out of the room, returning a moment later with his ten-year-old sister Karen in tow. He sat her down on the bed, next to me, and hugged her close to him. I absolutely adore how close and protective he is of Karen. I think a protective and loving older sibling is one of the sweetest things to exist in this world.

When Kenny released Karen, she glanced up at me.

"Is this one of your... Lady callers, Kenny?" She asked timidly. Her eyes were full of concern.

Ah, so he brought them home, too! I didn't know that.

"What? Oh, no, not this one. This is Wendy Testaburger, my best friend. Wendy, this is my little sister Karen."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Karen." I said kindly, extending a hand. Karen shook it timidly.

"Run to your room and get dressed, okay? I'll take you out to wait for Mrs. Tucker." Kenny said with a smile, and Karen obeyed. "She carpools with Ruby."

We all snuck out of the house through the window once she'd returned and walked Karen out to the curb, where we waited for Mrs. Tucker to drive by. Once she was gone, Kenny and I made our way to the bus stop.

"Does that happen often?" I asked.

"More than I'd hope. I'm sorry you had to see that, Wendy."

"I'm sorry you have to live with that."

Kenny didn't respond. Soon more people filled up the stop, but I only paid attention to one. Butters Stotch, walking slowly across the street with his head down and the hood of his sky-blue hoodie pulled up over his face.

"Butters! How's my main man this fine morning?" Kenny asked cheerfully, pulling the small boy over to join us.

"Oh, h-hey, Ken." He murmured.

Something was definitely off with him. He wasn't as happy and carefree as he usually was. I decided to investigate.

"Good morning, Butters. It's a lovely day, isn't it?" I greeted him happily.

"Yeah, it sure is, Wendy." He started rubbing his knuckles together. I wish he wouldn't do that, his fingers are so raw because of it.

Kenny finally recognized his friend's strange demeanor and decided to act upon it gently. He reached under Butters' chin and lifted his head so they were eye-level with each other.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.

"N-nothin's wrong." Butters stammered.

Kenny wasn't having it. He stared the timid boy in the face, but this was getting us nowhere. I reached in and pulled the hood off his head. This time, instead of my eyes being instantly pulled to the bandages on his left eye he still refused to take off in public from that ninja star incident on his left eye, I was drawn to the dark purple bruise around his left eye and the swollen and split bottom lip.

"Who did this to you?" I demanded in a frenzy.

"N-no one."

"You didn't do it to yourself, did you, Butters?" I said sarcastically. The boy may hate himself, but he couldn't do that to himself. And whoever would harm such a sweet, innocent boy should get the shit kicked out of him, right?

"Was it your dad?" Kenny asked so quietly I almost didn't hear. Butters nodded ever so slightly. "This is serious, Butters. One time is bad enough, but this is the third time this has happened. You need to tell somebody."

Holy shit. I mean, I always knew Butters' father was strict, but I'd never expected him to beat his own son. And three times? This was something I couldn't sit back and pretend I hadn't heard. I'd have to do something. And I couldn't do that something by myself. I'd need Kenny to help me.

"I c-c-can't!" Butters cried. "If I do, it'll only get worse!"

Tears filled his eyes and poured over, down his cheeks, and Kenny wrapped his arms around him. He held him tight, like he never wanted to let go. And in that moment I knew who it was that Kenny liked. Maybe even loved.

It was Butters, and I'd never be able to bring myself to sabotage him.

_/There goes! The big reveal! Kenny is bi curious and he might be in love with Butters! Also Butters' father abuses him. I hate his parents so much, they're such dicks to the poor kid when he doesn't even deserve it. _

_I believe this is my longest chapter yet. They'll only get longer from here, so brace yourselves, and I'll see you all next time!/_


	10. The Tucker Effect

_/Good day, bitches! No, anyone taking time out of their day to read this story is too awesome to be a bitch. I love you all so much you don't even know. You're all fantastic. Don't worry, the chapter's title will make sense as you read. I hope._

_South Park is the property of the insane Matt Stone and Trey Parker./_

Kenny kept Butters in his arms the whole time as we boarded the bus, and beckoned me over to sit with them. He gave me a look that said '_He needs both of us right now', _and the two of us squeezed the small boy in a loving comfort-sandwich while he cried. When the bus pulled up to the school, Kenny departed to take Butters straight to the nurse and I met Craig up by the door as per usual. He had a bandage up by his eye, a few bruises scattered about his face, and by the way he was holding his jaw I could tell his mouth was in pain.

"Sorry about yesterday." I said. Whether I was talking about screaming at him that morning or the fight I didn't even know for sure.

He didn't respond except to shrug dismissively. I realized it must hurt for him to speak, so I didn't bother him again, and we just stood together in silence. The bell rang in due time and as we made way to our lockers, I familiar mess of uncombed black hair stormed aggressively past us, slamming angrily into Craig.

"Piss off, Marsh!" Craig huffed, then grunted in pain and grabbed his jaw.

My eyes followed Stan as he stormed away. All I could see was his missing poofball hat, replaced instead by bandages wrapped around his head. Kyle ran past us, apologizing to Craig as he went.

"Knock it off, Stan!" He shouted.

I sighed, thinking to myself; _Everything keeps falling to pieces. _I wished everything could go back to the way it was. Stan and I were together, I didn't give a shit if Kenny was screwing in the bathroom all the time Craig didn't feel the need to defend me, and Butters was okay. Nothing would be as bad as it is. Life wouldn't be as hard. I like seeing Stan happy, I do. But if he hadn't come out, none of this would've happened. I wouldn't be conflicted over my feelings for Kenny and my guilt for even _considering _trying to sabotage Butters, the little sweetheart. Especially after what he's going through. At that moment, I came to a decision. Before I went any further on The Kenneth Project, I was going to have to start The Butters Project. Before I was ever going to help Kenny get Butters, no matter how I broke my own heart, I would have to fix Butters' abuse problem. And I would have to do it anonymously.

I spent all day with my notebook out, writing down possibilities of what to say to the police. If I had anything to say about it, Mr. and Mrs. Stotch would be in prison before the week was out.

Unfortunately, this was not what happened.

I left school with my finished 'script' and went to drop my book bag off at home, only to be stopped by my mother.

"Where are you off to, Wendy?" She asked.

_Shit! _

"Uh, Bebe's?" I said quickly.

"Weren't you just at Bebe's last night, dear?"

I forgot I'd called her to let her know I wouldn't be home that night.

"...Yes. I'm going back."

"You've been going out a lot lately, dear. And you're constantly locked in your room, on the phone." I could see where this was going. I needed an escape plan. "Your father and I miss you, Wendy. We want you to stay home tonight, spend some time with us."

_I can't spend time with you, my friend needs my help! _I screamed internally.

"But Mom, I really have to-"

"No buts, Wendy, you're staying here tonight."

_Fuck! _I sighed and trudged upstairs to hide my 'script' in my dresser, then returned back to the living room. I had no way to escape this, and knowing my mother, she was going to keep this up for a while. Whenever I become even the slightest bit distant, she freaks out and tries to keep me engaged with her at all times. I had finished my homework in study hall that day, so my parents kept me trapped in the living room all afternoon watching some stupid fucking movies. This is usually something rare that I would enjoy, because I actually quite like spending quality time with my parents, but all I wanted was to get out and down to the police station.

As I predicted, the next morning I was woken up early for a 'family breakfast', and I wasn't allowed to leave until everyone was finished. I ended up rushing out the door to just barely catch the bus after my mom shouting that she wanted me straight home after school.

"Morning, Wendy." Bebe said awkwardly. She knew I'd been ticked at her those two days ago.

"Morning, Bebe." I said cheerfully, to let her know I wasn't mad anymore. "Sorry I was a bitch on Tuesday."

"I was overbearing, it's okay. I know you like him, you know."

I balked.

"What?"

"I know you like Kenny. Why else would you be so pissed at me for getting it on with him?" She smirked. "But you don't need to keep it a secret. I can get him to bang you."

"I don't want him to bang me."

"You're the only girl in our grade who hasn't had sex yet, Wendy. I'm pretty sure you want him to bang you."

"No, I don't."

Of course I'm the only girl in our grade who hasn't had sex yet, you slut. Bebe could max out all the girls combined with all the sex she's had. The fucking slut.

"Oh, c'mon, Wendy. You know you want to." Bebe said snarkily.

"Give it a rest, Bebe." I said, pushing her off me.

"Fine, sheesh. You don't have to be so sore just because you're the only girl Kenny doesn't want to bang."

I lost it right there. I spun on my heel, teeth clenched, and punched that bitch square in the face. The force sent her lying on her back on the sidewalk.

"Piss off." I snarled, and gave her a prompt kick in the side, storming off.

I didn't meet Craig that day. I didn't talk to anyone that day. When I got home and my mom tried to start another stupid movie, I flipped her off and went straight to my room, where I answered my phone. It'd been ringing since school got out.

"Kenneth." I answered.

"What happened today?" Kenny demanded.

"None of your business, McCormick." I growled.

The line was silent for a few minutes.

"...Are you flipping off the receiver right now?"

I was.

"...No..."

"Yes you are."

"Oh, piss off."

"...You're spending too much time around Craig."

Was I? I went over a mental checklist in my head.

Flipping off my parents - Check.

Calling people by their last names - Check.

Flipping off everything - Check.

Being in a bad mood half the time - Check.

Shit, maybe I had been spending too much time around Craig. He was rubbing off on me. I shook my head and slapped myself. I made a mental note to distance myself. I didn't need to start being a dick to everyone.

"Sorry." I said.

"It's fine. Tell me what happened."

"Bebe was just being a bitch today." I confessed.

"Come over and you can vent. My phone's about to die."

My parents weren't going to let me leave. I considering climbing out the window, but my mom burst in suddenly. I dropped the phone.

"Wendy Testaburger!" She shouted angrily.

"H-hi, Mom..." I stammered. I was in for it now.

"You have the audacity to 'Hi, Mom' me, after blatantly flipping me off, young lady?" Mom raged.

"Sorry." I said quietly.

"Oh, you're sorry? Yes, that fixes everything! Young lady, I am not going to let you get off scott-free because of this! Saying sorry does not excuse such rude behavior! You are grounded, Missy!"

Jesus Christ, grounded? I've never been grounded before, but I know that when my parents ground, they go all-out. They've threatened it on me before. They're going to monitor the doors and take away my house key so I can't get out unless I really need to, they're going to lock my windows so there's no way I can get out, and to top it off they're going to take away my phone so I can't have contact to the outside world.

"G-grounded? For flipping you off?" I asked.

"Yes! Hand over the cell phone, Missy." Mom demanded, holding out her hand.

"I'm in the middle of a call!" I protested.

"I don't care! Hand it over now!"

I reluctantly handed over the phone, Kenny still on the other line. Mom storms out, but not before snatching my house key from my dresser. I cursed under my breath when she was out of the room.

I was grounded. I couldn't save Butters from his parents while I was grounded, and I couldn't help Kenny while I was grounded. I was trapped.

_/This is a kind of bad chapter, isn't it? Or at least the second half. I'm not a huge fan of the way it turned out, and I couldn't think of anything else to capacitate Wendy from getting to the police until I got to where I wanted to go. But this is the only way I know of that would work sort of. I'm going to make up for it, though, in the coming chapters. I swear._

_Prepare yourselves for a time jump in the next chapter./_


	11. The Closet

_/Oh hai everyone! I'd like to thank Lovsouthpark for the very kind review! It means a lot to me._

_Ah, onto the chapter I suppose!_

_South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. You know the drill./_

A little over a week later, I was still grounded, but Kenny and I had worked out another way to meet up. I had a free period two before lunch, so Kenny would skip out on A.P Lit every few days so we could work on The Kenneth Project. Eventually, as we chatted in the library about love, I decided to bring up Butters.

"Hey, Kenneth?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"How long has Butters' father been hitting him?" Kenny took a long pause. I could tell he was contemplating whether or not to tell me, whether or not he could trust me. Whether or not Butters would trust me. "You can tell me, Kenneth, it won't leave this table." I promised.

"The first time was about a year ago." He breathed. "The second was three months ago."

"And the third was one week ago." I finished for him.

Kenny nodded. I could tell how this worked. Most abusive parents I'd read about beat their children often, but not quite as bad each time. Butters' father, however, held long spaces in-between each beating, but each was obviously worse than the last. This was a tactic I'd never read about. The spaces seemed long enough for the wounds to have just healed, give or take a little time. So right after he had healed, the wounds would open again. Perhaps even worse. This type of beating seemed to be a perfect analogy of Butters' relationship with his parents, actually. They would out him down, make him feel like a worthless failure, then heal the emotional wounds with their love only to open them back up just a little while later.

"We have to do something about this. We have to go to the police." I said. "They have to pay for what they've done."

"Wendy, we can't get involved. This is Butters' fight." Kenny slowly protested.

"This is all of our fights, Kenneth. Butters is our friend. Have you never heard of situations like this? Someone is abused. Their friends keep quiet. It only gets worse. We have to do something."

I wasn't going to sit back and let this happen. And by God, neither was Kenny if I had anything to say about it!

"No, Wendy. We have to let him handle this on his own. I've asked him if he wanted me to do anything. I asked him to come with me to speak with the police. He told me he's going to fix this on his own. We have to let him work it out."

Well... If Butters had his own plan, I figured we couldn't help him anymore than he could help himself. He had it figured out. I sighed and gave up. I opened up my psychology book and was about to start reading from it when I heard a shaky breath escape Kenny's lips.

"Kenneth?" I glanced over at him. He had his face in his hands. He breathed shakily. I placed a comforting hand on his back. I could feel him crying. "Hey... You okay?"

Tears poured through his fingers.

"Fuck no... I want to help him. I wish I could." He whispered through his tears. "His life is fucked up and there's nothing I can do to help him."

I stood up and held my hand on his shoulder. This was it.

"You love him, don't you?"

Kenny looked up at me. His eyes were red and his cheeks were streaked with tears. He looked back down after only an instant.

"I... I think... I think I do."

And with those words, that final confession, I felt my heart break. I smiled, though, for it wasn't my own selfish feelings it broke for. It was for undying love. Not mine. But Kenny's. I knew now. It was Butters he loved.

And I was happy.

I took Kenny's hand and pulled him up out of the chair, then into my arms. As I let him cry on my shoulder, I realized that I was truly happy. Not only had he let me in, but he had let me in to one of the hardest realizations a person can express. True love.

But he wouldn't tell Butters on his own. I knew that. If I was ever going to make this work, I would have to teach him to be as open with he feelings to the world as he was to me. He would have to come out as bi curious first. And we'd need a little more work before he'd be able to do that. I counselled him on the importance of exposing your emotions. I reviewed him on what not to do before coming out. I told him to make sure he didn't distance himself from anyone, that he didn't behave coldly. Like Stan did. I practiced with him.

"Wait, you're actually going to hide inside a closet before coming out?" I asked when he told me what he planned to do.

"Yeah. It'd be funny to hide for like three hours then come out with a big sign that says _I'M GAY BITCHES _in rainbow letters, right?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, like I always saw Stan do. Jesus Christ, why can't anyone in this town be at least a little bit normal?

"I think that would be a little bit stretching, Kenneth. Some people might think you're making fun of them."

"God dammit. No closet, then?" Kenny grinned and I burst out laughing. Of course he was kidding.

"You're such a dork." I said, shoving him.

"Well, duh. That's why we're friends, ya crazy bitch!" He smiled and shoved me back. "If there's no closet and there's no rainbow sign, I guess we'll go about this casually."

"Show me. You be you, I'll be the guys."

Kenny took a few steps back, then walked up again, said "Hey assholes, I'm bi curious. Deal with it." and walked away again. I laughed and gave an approving thumbs-up. It was straight to the point, not to complicated, and funny. Perfect. He was ready.

The next day was the big moment. Lunch period rolled around and I waited out by the door. Kenny was going to walk in, do his quick little routine, and come back to join me.

"Get a move on, Kenneth! You can do it!" I said, steering him through the door.

"Thanks, Wendy." He said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

My heart lifted as I pushed him through the door. He sauntered up to the table, came clean, snapped his fingers, and started to walk away. Before he could return to the door, though, Cartman stood up.

"Have you told Wendy, yet? She's gonna be so pissed, dude." He said, loud enough so I could hear.

"Why would she be pissed?" Kenny asked, glancing back towards me. I shrugged.

"She's totally fucking in love with you, dumbass!"

_No, no, no, no, FUCK! _I screamed internally. Kenny turned and studied me. I could feel my face flush. It was obvious. Stan turned around in his seat, Kyle following suit. Soon the whole table was staring at me. Most girls would have run away in a situation like this. But not Wendy motherfucking Testaburger. I skipped up to the table like a cheerful schoolgirl, then up to Cartman and slapped him across the face.

"Fuck you!" I said happily. I pointed at Stan. "Fuck you!" Then at Kyle. "Fuck you!" I pointed to everyone except Butters and Kenny. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!"

I stepped back, smiled, and skipped out of the lunchroom. I heard feet pounding against the floor and slowed down, expecting it to be Kenny.

I was wrong.

"I told you he'd hurt you." Craig drawled.

"Did you not hear me, Tucker? I believe I said, ah fuck you."

"You should have listened, but that's just like you, isn't it? People try to help you and you just tell them to fuck off. Because you're a bitch."

_I'm not a bitch... _I thought. _Am I?_

"You're such a downer." I said.

"And you're such a bitch. We compliment each other perfectly." Craig said sarcastically.

"I'd like to be alone right now."

I walked straight out of the school and sat on the park bench for the rest of the day. They all know. Even Kenny does. I sighed. What would Kenny think? What would he say the next day? _No, _I thought, _it doesn't matter. What's done is done, right? _

What's done is done. Fuck 'em.

_/I've just realized how I tend to skip straight to lunch period, don't I? Would you guys like less lunch and more actual classroom drama? Let me know, I'd love to hear your opinions! See you guys next time, peace out!/_


	12. The Kiss

_/Oh, hello! Wasn't expecting to see you all here! No, really, I've gotten four new reviews in the span of a day. I was not expecting this. Thanks a ton to justmedanisha, Guest, f1ameprincess, and AssassinSwift for reviewing! I love you all forever!_

_South Park isn't mine, although I wish it was. Hm... Maybe I can steal it from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I think I'll steal it./_

Yeah. What's done is done. I made my way home, luckily aware that both my parents would be working until 5:00, so they wouldn't realize me coming home early. I didn't have very much to do, what with my connection to the outside world being severed, so I decided to rifle through my old movie collection. I ended up spending the afternoon watching Pixar movies. My parents came home in the middle of Toy Story and joined me on the couch without a word needed. This was what I liked. Just watching movies of my choice with my parents, not being forced to sit down and stay with them. I'd stopped thinking of Kenny by the end of the day.

But of course that didn't last, did it? I still remembered exactly what happened when I got up the next morning. I probably wouldn't have remembered so quickly, though, if it wasn't for _what _woke me up. What was it that woke me up, you ask? Kenny rapping on my window, that's what.

"Kenneth?" I whisper-shouted.

Kenny beckoned for me to hurry up and meet him outside. I scrambled out of bed, pulled on a white t-shirt and a pink skirt, ran out to the kitchen, and grabbed a slightly stale muffin while pulling on my coat and hat. I stumbled outside just as Kenny was passing my house and he stopped to wait for me.

"Morning, Wendy!" He said cheerfully.

"Same to you, Kenneth." I said, trying to be cheerful. Waiting for the inevitable.

Kenny could tell what I was waiting for. I was glad he decided to get it out of the way so quickly.

"Was what Cartman said true? Are you in love with me?" He asked slowly, taking my hand to try and keep me calm.

"What's better than to learn true love from a person experiencing it herself?" I refused to give a direct answer. He would have to read behind the lines.

I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw Kenny smiling at the sidewalk. I felt his hand trail up my arm, across my shoulder and up my neck to my face. He looked at me and pulled my face gently to his, where our lips met. Holy fuck. I wanted to push him off, but I couldn't bring myself to. This was what I'd been wishing for, wasn't it? I wanted Kenny to kiss me, didn't I? Well, here he was, kissing me, and I didn't feel right. My heart wasn't in it. What was the deal? Kenny released me and smiled. I stared at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Why did you do that?" I demanded.

"I thought that was what you'd want. You said you... You love me. I figured I'd give you some well-deserved payment for helping me, even when you probably didn't want to."

Of course he didn't mean it. That was why it didn't feel right. His heart wasn't in it, either.

"I don't want a fucking charity kiss, Kenneth." I said, shoving him away from me. "If you're going to kiss me, make it real."

I met Butters by the bus stop. He still looked downtrodden. I studied his face, but there weren't any more wounds. He hadn't been beaten again.

"Hey, Wendy." He said, smiling forcefully.

"Hi, Butters." I said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

The little blonde looked up at me questioningly and I just smiled at him. He smiled back and rested his head on my shoulder. Kenny walked up, saw me with Butters, flipped me off angrily, and stalked to the other side of the bus stop.

Shit.

I wasn't trying to anger him. I just wanted to comfort his best friend. Was that wrong? Was it wrong for someone else to hug the boy? Was it wrong for someone else to care for the boy? I sighed. Was it wrong for me to be jealous? My breath caught in my throat and I got into a coughing fit. I was jealous. I was truly jealous of the one person I thought I would never hold envy for. The one person no one ever thought they would hold envy for. It took me a week and a half to realize it, but I was envious of Butters. Butters fucking Stotch. The bus finally pulled up and I sent Butters to sit with Kenny, who refused to look in my direction. I didn't think he could get so easily pissed. I sat alone on the bus ride, and throughout my classes it felt like everyone was talking about me. It took me until Geography to get up the nerve to speak to Kenny, who sat a little ways across the aisle from me.

"Psst!" I whisper-shouted. A few people turned their heads. "Psst! Kenneth!"

Kenny didn't respond.

"Aren't you going to answer your girlfriend, Kenny?" Clyde asked, poking him.

Clyde is a generally nice person, but there's always something that makes him turn into an asshole. That week it was me and Kenny.

"She's not my girlfriend, Clyde." Kenny replied.

"She is your friend, though. Isn't she?" Clyde pointed out. "You're not going to ignore her just because she likes you."

Oh. I guess he wasn't going to be an asshole that week. He was trying to pull Kenny back to me. But Kenny wasn't ignoring me because I liked him.

"Let us work out our own issues."

"Alright, alright. Sorry, man. But you really should talk to her. You can't ignore your friends like that."

Clyde looked at me and shrugged. I shrugged back as our teacher, Mrs. Nelson, entered the room.

"Okay, class, quiet down. I have papers to pass back." Mrs. Nelson said.

While our papers were passed back, I scribbled a note, folded it into a little paper airplane, and tossed it at Kenny. It hit him on the side of the head. He picked it off the floor, unfolded it, and skimmed it. He set it back down and looked at me. I gave him a pleading gesture and he rolled his eyes. "Fine." He mouthed.

I skipped out on Algebra that day to talk to Kenny.

"What?" He asked when I showed up.

I proceeded to tell him I wasn't trying to piss him off, I was just comforting my friend, and who's fault was it really for getting pissed about it anyway, until he shut me up.

"Wendy. It's fine." He said finally.

"Is it? Is it really?"

"Yes, it is. I was being a dick to you. I thought you were mad at me for going all 'Pity Kiss' on you and were trying to make a move on Butters to piss me off. But you wouldn't do that, I thought, because you're too thoughtful. You wouldn't do that to me, especially not if you loved me. So I forgive you."

I smiled ecstatically and pulled Kenny into an affectionate hug.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed.

Kenny smiled and shrugged. We were all good again.

"Well, we've still got a solid hour. What should we do?" Kenny asked,

I thought for a moment before deciding. Kenny knew what love was, he knew who he loved, and he'd come out. Now all he needed was to act on his love. I told him this and he nearly freaked out.

"Kenneth, you've come out. It'll be no surprise when you ask Butters out. I'm sure everyone's been guessing all day who it could be that made you question your sexuality, and the obvious choice is Butters. You two are closer than a bee is to a flower." I said.

It took an entire half hour for me to convince him that I was in the right, but once I finally had we spent the rest of the hour brainstorming ways that would work for him to ask Butters out.

Weeks passed before Kenny was ready. Weeks of rehearsing and working out every possible scenario. Rejection, acceptance, confusion, Kenny was ready for everything. This was one of the most important moments, and he was ready. But was I?

_/I referenced Pixar! My favorite animation studio. I suppose I should clarify that I don't own Toy Story, either, or any other Pixar movie._

_Brace yourselves, guys. The next chapter is going to get really fucking sad. Prepare. See you next time./_


	13. The Funeral

_/Hey, everyone. Like I said, this chapter is going to be very sad. I'm taking a depressing turn here, and someone is going to hate me for it, but I have to go this way or else this story won't end the way I want it to. So just... Don't say I didn't warn you, alright? Thanks for reading, I love you all!_

_South Park isn't mine./_

It had been a month since Kenny came out as bi curious when my grounding was lifted and my mother forgave me for flipping her off. As soon as she returned my phone to me, it rang. I answered.

"Good afternoon, Kenneth. What's on your mind?" I said.

"Meet me on your front lawn, Wendy, now please." Kenny responded.

I laughed and hung up, then walked outside. Kenny was standing on my lawn with a nervous smile on his face.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I think... I think I'm ready, Wendy." Kenny said. I didn't even need to ask. I knew what he meant.

"Well then, go on. Good luck, Kenneth!" I said with a smile, and Kenny grabbed my wrist.

"Oh, hell no. You're coming with me. I wouldn't be this far without you. I want you there with me the whole time. Come on."

I smiled and let Kenny lead me down the block to Butters' house. Each time I looked at him it seemed he was constantly growing happier and I realized something. I was happy, too. I was really, truly happy. Kenny was going to tell Butters he loved him right in front of me, and I was ecstatic. He was going to shatter my world and I couldn't think of a happier moment. That's what love is, after all, I suppose. Letting go. Sharing their happiness. I loved Kenny, we both knew that. But I had to let him go. I stood a little ways back off the porch, waiting for Kenny to knock on the door.

"What's taking you so long, Kenneth?" I asked.

"What if... What if I'm not actually ready?"

I took Kenny by the shoulders.

"You are ready. You've come so far. You've learned what love is. Not only that, but you have taught me more about love than I could ever dream I'd have learned on my own. I couldn't possibly be any prouder of you than I am today, Kenneth." I hugged him. "Now go get him."

I stepped back and let Kenny knock. It was already slightly open and just parted for him. He looked back to me and I beckoned him forwards. He pushed the door open the whole way and froze. I watched him stand in the doorway, immobile. I watched his knees tremble. I watched him collapse to his knees right there on the doorstep. I watched his shoulders shake as he buried his face in his hands.

"Oh, God..." He cried.

"Kenneth? What is it?" When he didn't respond, I joined him on the doorstep and looked up. What I saw shattered everything I had come to know. "...No..."

There in the living room, hanging from the ceiling, strung up by a belt around the neck, was Butters Stotch.

Dead.

His eyes were shut, dry tears streaking his cheeks. The bandages around his left eye had loosened and fallen around his shoulder, exposing the scar he refused to show. I heard Kenny crying into his mittens. The longer I stared at the boy's hanging body, the angrier and angrier I became. This was not fixing the problem. This was ripping himself from the hands of those who truly loved him. How could he do this? No, no, how could God do this? How could He give this boy a life so awful and make him feel he had to end it? How could He make him feel so hopeless?

Hot tears brimmed in my eyes. My fist shot out from my side, knocking a vase to the floor. A broken vase would not bring him back to us. A broken vase would not save him. I kicked over the table the vase rested on as the tears cascaded down my cheeks. Before I could stop myself, I was at the hanging corpse. Shaking him as if he was asleep and he would wake up. I cried out his name, refusing to believe he would never answer. Refusing to believe we would never hear his voice again. I was not the only one screaming. Kenny had fallen to the floor, crying out desperately, muffled by the carpet. I stumbled backwards and hit the wall, sinking down to the floor. I buried my face in my hands and screamed.

That was two weeks ago. Butters Stotch committed suicide two weeks ago. No matter how many times I repeat that, I can't bring myself to believe that he's gone. Kenny and I were faced with the task of breaking the news to everyone at school, and the reaction was overwhelming. The amount of compassion and love that filled the Junior class at South Park High School was unbelievable. It always seemed like nobody else gave two shits about Butters, seeing how they treated him, but the news of his suicide hurt everybody. Even Eric Cartman hasn't spoken to anyone since he heard. In fact, there's been hardly any speaking throughout the entire class. It's as if everyone has taken a vow of silence in honor of him. Not only that, but everyone has been unbelievably kind to each other these past weeks. People cry, everyone comforts them. People drop books, everyone moves to pick them up. Doors are always being held open now. A movement has begun, all caused by the death of the sweetest blonde boy anyone ever knew.

Today is his funeral. Mom ties the back ribbon on my black dress and adjusts the black veil she bought before I leave. She hugs me tightly and lets me go, reminding me that I should take Dad's car. Driving is pointless. I'll get there one way or another, so I decide to walk instead. It's a beautiful day. Not like the funerals you see in movies, where it's always raining and you carry black umbrellas. No, today is a fairly sunny, nice day. No hints of rain. I walk slowly, and it seems the other teens in the neighborhood were influenced by me walking because I hear a car door open, then shut only seconds later, but no car pulls out. Instead, I'm joined on the street by Stan Marsh of all people, whose concussion has just recently healed, donning his old black hat and a black suit. Kyle comes by and walks on my other side. Cartman comes next. Soon the entire class has joined us.

Suddenly my breath catches in my throat as the levity of the day hits me. I stop in the middle of the road and let my tears fall. Stan catches me, wraps an arm around me, and takes my hand tightly in his. Kyle takes my other hand. Cartman takes Kyle's hand. Craig takes Cartman's hand, and soon not only are we all walking together, everyone is holding hands. We pause at the gate to the graveyard. About twelve or so feet away, the casket is open and surrounded by adults. There's one last collective hand-squeeze between the class, and we all depart. Me and a few others in the choir class make our way up beside the casket to get ready to sing. I wasn't going to stop. I wasn't going to look. But I can't help it. I look down into the casket and study him.

There's concealer hiding his eye scar and his most recent unhealed bruises. I don't know why I see that first, but it's the first thing my eyes are drawn to. And it pisses me off. It isn't Butters without that scar. Not even without those bruises. They took away a memory by covering them, and memories are the most important thing to the family and friends of the deceased. I glance behind me to make sure no one's watching and I rub off the concealer as quickly as I can before walking off to join the choir. I climb up to the second tallest riser and scope out the scene. I see everyone. His family, his friends, even his teachers. I see everyone except for Kenny. I should have expected as much. Kenny hasn't shown up to school since we found Butters dead. I haven't seen him in two weeks. But the least he could do is come to his funeral.

I stand in silence, waiting for the ceremony to commence. It finally does, and the first thing Father Maxi does is introduce the choir.

"Before the eulogies are read, I would like to introduce the South Park High School choir and band who, to honor the boy, have asked to perform a rendition of the song 'Let Her Go', by the band Passenger, after learning it was a song very close to young Leopold's heart." He says, and passes over to the choir and band teachers.

I tense up slightly hearing someone call Butters by his first name. It's abnormal. The band teacher lifts his hands and the music begins quietly. After a moment or so, our choir teacher lifts her hands and we begin to sing.

"Well, you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home. Only know you love her when you let her go.

And you let her go."

As we sing I feel a tugging on my heart. This hurts more than I thought anything ever would. I never imagined myself singing at someone's funeral. Especially not after a suicide. Once the song ends, we're rewarded with quiet applause. The band and the choir leave the stands and fill up every remaining seat in the back. I sit on one end, beside Stan, whose hand finds mine and squeezes it. Mr. and Mrs. Stotch stand up to begin the eulogies.

"Leopold... Butters, was our little boy." Mrs. Stotch begins. "He was always so happy, so carefree, even when he was grounded. And when we came home to find him strung to the ceiling by a belt around the neck... It broke our hearts. We never would have thought he was even considering suicide. We can't imagine any reason he wanted to end his life. All I know is that I would do anything, anything, to bring my little boy back to me."

She starts crying into her husband's shoulder. I clench my teeth but don't say anything. Right before Mr. Stotch begins to speak, he's interrupted by a chair hitting the ground and an angry guest on his feet.

"How dare you!" Kenny screams. "How dare you cry over his grave, how dare you act so clueless! How dare you even show up!" I see Craig try to pull him back down to his seat, but Kenny doesn't move. "You know why he did this! You pushed him to the brink! YOU KILLED HIM!"

"Kenny, Kenny! Calm down. Butters' parents didn't kill him, he killed himself. You know that." Stan shouts, standing up.

"He wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for them, Stan!" Before he could go on he was pulled down by Craig.

"Leave them alone, McCormick, you're dishonoring him." He snarled.

Kenny was up once again in a matter of minutes and had knocked Craig off his chair and onto the ground.

"None of you get this, do you? None of you care as much as I do! I LOVED him!"

"We all loved Butters, Kenny." Kyle said. "He was like a brother to all of us."

"You don't fucking get it, Kyle! I was in love with him! And I couldn't save him!"

Silence sweeps over the graveyard. Kenny marches up to the casket, kicks Mr. Stotch in the groin, and stalks away. We all watch him leave, but nobody follows. Nobody speaks for quite a long time. I sit, frozen and cold in my chair, watching as Father Maxi closes Butters' casket and lowers it into the ground, praying over it, and people slowly depart. I stay, however, watching the gravediggers cover the casket in dirt. I stay even after they've left. I stay into the night, sitting before his tomb, thinking of how everything was just beginning to look up when this happens. I cry myself to sleep beside his tomb.

_/I warned you. Oh my gosh, I killed Butters! I'm a bastard! How many of you hate me for this? Don't worry, I hate myself for this, but I had to do it. _

_DISCLAIMER - I did not kill off Butters because I don't like him. I know somebody who killed off a character in a fanfiction because he didn't like him, and I want to clarify that Butters is one of my favorite characters. I did not kill him off because I do not like him._

_I should probably also clarify that I don't own the song 'Let Her Go', and that it belongs to Passenger. I hope to see you guys all next time if you don't hate me too much for this. I love you all!/_


	14. The Aftermath of Depression

_/Hello, lovely readers! I've decided to try and make this chapter as upbeat as I possibly can. Last chapter was enough pure depression for a little bit, so I'll try to put in some funny shit here and there to lift the mood a smidge. Infinite thanks to FindMeInTheRice, EyesInTheShadows, and Guest for reviewing! You're all beautiful!_

_I want to own South Park, but sadly I am not nearly as fucked-up as Trey Parker and Matt Stone, so it's just not possible./_

I can tell I'm awake. I'm self-aware, but I don't feel quite like opening my eyes yet. I'd rather just stay in my comfy bed all morning. I turn over and sigh, trying to fall back asleep. Wait, where the hell did my pillow go? I search blindly for it, but it must have fallen off the edge of the bed. Stretching out my legs under the sheets I realize I'm still wearing my dress from the funeral the other day. And the fucking veil. What? Hang on, I'm not even in a bed. Unless someone filled my mattress with rocks or something.

I open my eyes. Oh, that's right. I fell asleep next to Butters' tomb last night. I was sleeping on the dirt in my dress. And someone put a blanket over me.

"Good morning, sweetheart." My mom's voice says. I sit up to see her standing over me. "I've come to take you home."

I exhale slowly, all the events of the day previous coming back to me in a flood. My head starts throbbing and I stand up dizzily. Mom catches me and walks me out of the graveyard and back to our house quietly. She doesn't protest when I trudge absentmindedly up to my room. I collapse on my bed and let the ache of my back from sleeping on the dirt release. I hate that funerals always have to come so much longer after the actual death. I mean, two weeks may not seem that long, but it felt like it dragged on forever and funerals only make everything hurt worse. Reopening wounds that were just barely starting to heal for some of us. I've hardly even been able to sleep throughout these two weeks. Last night was the first 'good-night's sleep' I've gotten and I was sleeping on the ground. Every time I close my eyes I see Butter's hanging from his ceiling with that belt around his neck and I scream.

I also can't help but think this is my fault. If I hadn't caved so easily when Kenny said that Butters was going to take care of it himself, Mr. and Mrs. Stotch would be in prison right now and he would still be with us. I feel hollow, numb. As if I've lost all sense of what life is supposed to mean. Nothing has ever made me feel this way before. I need someone feeling the same thing to talk to. I consider calling Kenny, but he hasn't picked up the phone and I've given up leaving messages. Rumor has it he's kept locked up in his room with all the lights switched off, sitting in the corner not speaking to anyone. Not even his sister.

There's only one other option. Should I take it? I find the number in my contacts and stare at it for a solid ten minutes, contemplating if I should call or not. I groan, collapsing face-first onto my desk. She owes me, so it would make sense if I did, but I also don't really want to call her. I groan and collapse face-first onto my desk. Fuuuuuuck. I sit up slightly, resting my chin on my hands and contemplating what I could do with myself right now. My eyes are unexpectedly drawn to a pair of silver, razor-sharp scissors at the corner of my desk and my hand moves to take them. I slowly graze the blade over my hand, not letting it cut me, but suddenly I have a strong urge to push the blade down. My instincts react like so and I bite my lip to keep from screaming. That. Really. Fucking. Hurt.

Why do people do this? Does it somehow feel good to them? Are they sadistic, pain-obsessed freaks? Blood flows from my palm, dripping down my arm. I must have cut deeper than I thought. I grunt in pain. It takes a while for the stinging to die down, and by that time my palm is covered in blood and my arm looks like a barber-shop pole. I grab a fistful of tissues and gently wipe the blood away. As I clean myself up, I realize something. The pain distracted my memories of Butters. I'd stopped thinking about him. I didn't see the haunting image of his body when I closed my eyes. I close my eyes and... Yep. There he is again. I take the scissors and push the blade down into my other palm. The image disappears. Pain distracts.

I have two gashes on my palms now. And they burn like a motherfucker. I can't move my hands without wanting to scream. But I can still just barely hold the scissors. I keep my eyes shut and every time that shadowy image returns to my mind I push the blade into my hand. I hear quiet steps on the pavement outside, then something slamming against my window, but I ignore it. More than likely just some stupid bird who got off-track.

"HEY!" Someone shouts.

This time I look back, and who do I see, planted at my window with his little posse? Craig fucking Tucker, of course. I put down the scissors and climb over my bed to the window, staring straight through it at Craig, Token, Clyde, and Tweek. I open the window after they don't move and Craig reaches through it and grabs my wrists. My blood continues to leak from the cuts and onto his gloves. He looks up and glares at me.

"Hi." I say awkwardly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Craig demands.

I don't answer. Clyde edges around Craig and takes a look at the gashes on my palms. He stares at me.

"Wow, Wendy, I knew you were close to Butters but I didn't expect you'd ever start cutting because of him." He says sympathetically, tears welling up in his eyes. I always forget how sensitive and really just overall kind he is.

"Yeah, we all thought if anyone would be... Cutting, it'd be Kenny." Token says.

I can't help but agree as I look down at my palms. I can't even believe what I'm doing to myself. I've never even thought of cutting before and now here I am. Covered in my own blood. Tweek takes one look at me and passes out.

"Wait here, guys, I'll be right back." Craig says, and proceeds to climb in through my window. He gently takes my wrist and sneaks into the bathroom with me.

He turns on the sink and slowly eases my hands under the running water. I nearly scream from the burning, stinging sensation that erupts throughout my hands but I manage to keep quiet. After all the blood has washed off, Craig pilfers through my medicine cabinet until he finds the antiseptic. While he cleans me up I can't help but think of the fight he had with Stan two months ago. It feels like hardly any time has passed at all, that only a day or so ago it was _me_ cleaning up _his_ wounds. I bet he didn't feel so pathetic, though. He got those wounds being a badass. I got mine being an idiot. I can't help myself. I start crying right there in the bathroom.

Craig grabs a roll of gauze from my medicine cabinet and starts wrapping it around my hands slowly as I continue to cry. I bury my face in his shoulder, unable to control the volume of my sobs.

"Wendy?" Dad calls from down the hall. "Wendy, where are you?"

Dad opens the bathroom door and is held witness to me crying in Craig Tucker's arms. He doesn't even question the presence of the male species in his home. All he does is join us, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"She can't use her hands for a while." Craig says suddenly, letting me go.

"Thank you, young man." Dad says, not questioning the wounds on my hands, either.

Craig stands up and walks out of the bathroom. I stay sitting on the sink. Dad kneels down in front of me and hugs me close, letting my cry a little longer. He lets go and waves me back to my room, telling me to 'join my little friend'. I do so and just barely catch up with Craig and his gang before they round the block.

"Where are you guys going?" I ask.

"Funny you might ask." Token said. "We were actually going to check up on Kenny. Make sure he's not cutting himself up either."

"Y'know, it's good you're following us." Clyde points out. "We probably can't coax him out of his house, but I bet you can. You'll be our secret weapon."

Clyde rubs his hands together and grins sadistically. I laugh. For the first time in weeks, I laugh. When we've made it up to Kenny's house, Token knocks on the door. Karen answers.

"Kenny's not coming out of his room," She says.

"We know. We just want to check on him." Craig says coolly.

Karen steps aside and leads us to the boy's dark room.

"Kenny!" She calls. "There are some kids here for you!"

When there's no reply she opens the door and tells us to just go inside. The rumors are terribly true. So true it breaks my heart. Kenny is sitting in the corner of his room, all the lights off, in complete silence. I can just barely see into the room with the little light spilling in from the window. Clyde ushers me forward. I suppose I'm the one who has to speak to him. I kneel down beside him and place both hands ever-so-gently on his shoulders. He looks up and I can almost see his face brighten ever-so-slightly.

"Wendy!" He exclaims, standing up. His voice sounds raw in his throat, as if he's only been screaming for days. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up, leaving passionate kisses all over my face and neck. "I've been wondering if you'd ever come see me!"

"That was easier than I expected." Clyde remarked.

"Of course I'd come see you, Kenneth. You're my best friend." I say, shocked by this sudden show of affection.

"I've been waiting." He murmurs in my ear and sets me down. His arms are still around me. "I need you."

Shivers tingle up my spine. That was infinitely creepy. I try to push him off me when suddenly his hand runs down my waist and nears my thigh.

"AAH! Kenneth, what are you doing?!" I shout.

But I don't need an answer, I realize suddenly. He 'needs me' like he 'needed' those other girls when his brother died. He needs sex for comfort and I'm the only girl left. He pulls at the hem of my dress, trying to get it off me and I go numb. Before I'm even fully aware of what's happening the dress is on the floor and I'm wearing nothing but a bra and leggings in front of five boys. I receive another kiss on the lips from Kenny and before I can protest he's pushing me towards the wall. Does he not realize the four other boys standing in the room right now, watching him... Basically rape me? Is it rape if I'm pretty much letting it happen? I don't seem to be trying very hard to get him off me, do I?

I knee him in the crotch, but he seems to take that as encouragement. I'm starting to freak out, because he has gone from a slight sex addict to a full-on maniac. I've heard all the stories from the other girls, he was the most polite fling I'd ever heard of. Always making sure they were feeling okay and letting them know if he was hurting them or making them uncomfortable to let him know and he'd knock it off.

"Kenneth!" I shout angrily.

"Hey, get off her, Kenny, she doesn't want that!" Clyde says, marching our way. "Be cool, dude."

I knee him in the crotch again, harder this time, and manage to push him off me. Craig takes over from there, grabbing the collar of his shirt and punching him repeatedly in the face. He shoves him into the wall and once he's on the ground, kicks him hard in the sides. His teeth are clenched and his cold blue eyes narrowed in unfathomable anger. Clyde and Token have to rip him away from Kenny's limp, unconscious figure. I sigh and start walking away, but come back for one more kick.

Just for good measure.

_/Should I change the rating to M because of that? I don't think it was graphic enough... Let me know. _

_I tried putting some funny shit in here, but it didn't really work out. There'll be more opportunities for funny shit in the next chapter, though, so don't worry. I'm giving a surprise cameo, and I'm gonna let you all guess who's going to appear in the next chapter. Whoever guesses correctly gets a virtual high-five and all the respect from me!/_


	15. The Possible Solution

_/Welcome back! Today I'd like to thank Que, the three Guests, and Cheshire cat for their lovely reviews. I did not think I was capable of producing such emotions. Well, anyways, on to the chapter I suppose. _

_I'd like to go down to South Park, but I'm just not as cool as Trey and Matt./_

* * *

We were allowed to choose if we were ready to return to school today. I wouldn't have handled staying home today, so I got on the bus. I'm one of very few Juniors in our neighborhood. Kenny walks slowly down the middle of the bus. His parka hood is pulled up again, covering his face. He walks hunched over as if he's in pain, holding his side. He passes me and goes for the back of the bus.

"Hey, Kenneth! Come here!" I shout. He shook his head. "Get over here, I want to speak with you!"

He sighs and comes over to sit with me. I ease my bandaged fingers under his parka hood and flip it down. He has a black eye swollen completely shut and dried blood at the corner of his mouth. I sigh, guilty. If I'd been gentler, Craig wouldn't have beaten him up. I lift up the hem of his jacket gently. Bruises and cuts cover his lower torso where he was kicked.

"Yeah, I get it. Craig beat me up. You don't need to fucking rub it in my face." He mutters.

"At least you _got _beat up instead of beating _yourself _up." I say.

"What are you talking about?"

I unwrap the bandages from my hand with my thumb and forefinger, showing Kenny my cuts. He stares at me, then at the cuts, then back at me.

"You fucking cut yourself?"

"I was being stupid."

"What did you use?"

"Like, uh, the kind of scissors you use to cut hair."

"Did it help?"

"Uhh... A little...?"

"Can I borrow them?"

I slap him. After a moment of him staring at me I slap him again. He shouldn't _want _to fucking cut himself! Is he a goddamn moron?

"Why the fuck do you want my scissors?" I cry.

"I want to forget, Wendy. I can't use my old method anymore, or I'll get the shit beat out of me." He says desperately. "You said cutting works. It's the only other way."

"I said it works, Kenny, I didn't say it was pleasant. It's painful. It's more painful than anything I've ever felt."

"Do you think I fucking care? I've been impaled with spikes in an alternate-dimensional Hell, Wendy. I don't think a few cuts are going to affect me."

What in the world of fuck is he... Oh, whatever. I take his hands in mine, ignoring the stinging sensation. I pull him closer, so our noses just barely touch.

"You are not going to cut yourself, Kenny. We are going to get off this bus and we are going to cut first period. I am going to take you to the only people I know that can help you." I knew I'd have to talk to her soon. "The goth kids."

I can almost hear ominous music sound. As soon as the bus stops Kenny and I split around to the back of the school, where three of the previous four goth kids sit smoking. Nothing happened to the youngest one, he's just still in the eighth grade.

"What do you two want?" Henrietta demands.

"You owe me a favor, Henrietta. I've come to collect." I say.

I stand a good distance away. I don't want to breathe in any cigarette smoke. Kenny, however, leans directly over Henrietta, only returning once she gives him a drag. I didn't know he smoked.

"You've got to be shitting me." The one with the red coloring in his hair, I think it's Pete, scoffs. "You let that conformist do something for you?"

"I couldn't fucking stop her, asshole!" Henrietta shouts. "What the fuck do you want?"

"My friend... Kenny needs some help with depression. You assholes seem to know pain, so I've brought him to you."

Henrietta sighs promptly and snuffs out her cigarette.

"What is it with you fucking conformists and coming to us for help..." She mutters, obviously not expecting an answer. "Fine."

"Did some bitch rip your heart into pieces?" The tall one, Michael, asks.

"...No. I'm uh... I'm kinda gay." Kenny confesses.

"Then whatthefuck happened."

I enjoy watching the goth kids give advice or help people out or whatever because it's really fun to see them try to avoid caring. It's also really fun to pick out when they actually fucking care and here... Looks like they care a little. Kenny seems to be the only person who doesn't piss them off to no end.

"He killed himself." Kenny mutters.

"Why the fuck does that bother you? Of all people, why the fuck does that bother _you?_" Henrietta demands.

Why the fuck should it _not_ bother him?! Why the fuck should suicide _not _fucking bother someone? What's the problem with having motherfucking human emotions?

"You've been to the lost city of fucking R'lyeh and got out. You can't die, right?" Pete said, attempting once again to get his stupid hair out of his eyes.

...I am not even going to question that.

"How do you know that?"

"We killed you once, idiot."

"Everyone's killed me once, asshat."

"Whatever." Henrietta sighs. "If you've fucking died before, and you always come back, what's the point being depressed? Just go visit your stupid boyfriend."

Visit... What... How does that even... Whatever, I said I wouldn't question it. I glance at Kenny as he stares at Henrietta like she's sprouted two extra heads. Suddenly he sighs and slaps himself, curses himself out and says he's an idiot.

"I can't believe I didn't fucking think of that." He mutters. "How stupid am I?"

"Pretty goddamn stupid." Michael breathes.

"You're not stupid." I interject.

"Thanks, you three." Kenny says gratefully.

"Don't fucking thank us, you conformist piece of ass shard." Henrietta says.

Wow that was funny. I'm not being sarcastic that legitimately made me snort. I decide against thanking her, and decide I should just call her later and let her know I appreciate the help.

* * *

At the end of the day, Kenny ends up following me home. I refuse to sneak him in through the window today, though, since I had a boy in my house yesterday and my dad didn't give to fucks, so we just walk straight through the front door.

"Hi, Sweetie!" Mom says sensitively, obviously not sure what my emotions would be yet. "How was school today?"

"It was fine, Mom." I say.

"That's good. Who's your little friend?"

"Kenny McCormick. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Testaburger." Kenny extends a hand, which my mom shakes happily.

"It's nice to meet you, too, dear. Will you be staying for dinner tonight?"

"That would actually be great, thank you."

Holy shit he's so polite. I didn't know he could do that. Is that even Kenny? Is he in there? Was he possessed? Nah, fuck it, it's totally Kenny.

"Dinner will be ready soon, then. I hope you like steak, Kenny." He nods. "Good. Now you two go up and do your homework. Don't forget to change your bandages, Wendy."

"Okay, Mom, see you later." I say, leading Kenny up to my room.

"Don't close that door!" She shouts after me,

I blush, laughing into my hand. Kenny smiles awkwardly. If my parents knew what he did the other day, they'd have never let him step foot in our house, let alone my room. I actually work on my homework for the first time in weeks and allow Kenny to cheat off me. I don't even know what happened, but we end up stopping a bunch of times in the middle of working just to make out for no reason. The first time I looked up to see him just leaning right in front of me and we ended up with our faces smashed together. The second time I leaned over, grabbed his face, and pulled it to mine. I even ended up on top of him once, just making out with him for five straight minutes. I don't even know why, but if you added up all the time we spent just making out, we'd have about twenty minutes of straight making out. Even though he's fucking in love with Butters.

Oh.

Wait.

No.

I got it.

Because he knows he can't get it on with me! The closest thing he has is kissing! And he knows I'll let him do that. Damnit that's actually awesome. If this could just go on, I'd like that a lot. I'd really like that.

"Dinner's ready, you two!" Mom calls suddenly from the bottom of the stairs.

Kenny smiles bashfully and the two of us run downstairs.

"What is it with you and boys these days, Wendy?" Dad asks casually, barely looking up from his plate. "First the one with the black hair yesterday and now this one."

"Dad, shush!" I say.

"Sorry, sorry! I just get curious when there's two different boys in my house in the span of two days."

Kenny chuckles and I kick him under the table. He manages to share pleasant and polite conversation with my parents, winning them over very easily, and we return to my room after being dismissed. Kenny sits down at my desk and picks up the scissors I recently cleaned the blood from. He stares at them a moment before setting them back down and standing up again. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small hand gun.

"What are you doing with that?" I ask as quietly as possible.

"I need you to kill me." He whispers calmly.

"Kill you? I'm not going to kill you, Kenneth!" I hiss.

"Please, Wendy. I need to see Butters again. I need to talk things out. I need to tell him how I feel, see if there is any possible way we can work things out." He begs.

"Kenneth, I'll never see you again! I'm not going to murder you!"

"I'll come back, I swear. Tomorrow morning I'll be back, and you won't even remember killing me. Just trust me, please. I need closure."

He gently places the gun in my hands and stares at me with pleading eyes. I do trust him... But what if this is all some trick? What if he's just too scared to kill himself, so he wants someone else to do it for him? What if I never see him again?

"No." I say defiantly.

"Wendy. Trust me." He pleads.

I look into his eyes and my heart melts. I can't say no to him. I just can't. So I walk out to Stark's Pond with him so nobody will hear the gunshot.

"You swear you'll be back tomorrow?" I ask, still terrified.

"Like nothing ever happened. You won't even remember." He confirms, and shuts his eyes, ready to be shot.

I can't bear to look at him. I can't bear to think that this may be a trick. That I may not see him tomorrow. But I manage to assure myself that he's telling the truth by reminding myself where I am. I live in the town of South Park, where a mechanized Barbara Streisand once terrorized the streets. I live in the town of South Park, where Cthulu once rose and killed a ton of people. If shit like that can happen here, then why am I even doubting that Kenny will come back tomorrow? Anything is possible in this town. So I steady my shaking hand.

And I pull the trigger.

* * *

_/I'm sure you've all noticed that _fuck _is my favorite swear word. It has a nice rhythm to it, what can I say?_

_This chapter took a long-ass time, and I am really really sorry. Film School started on Tuesday and I've been a little bit busy. Three days a week, every week, for the rest of the summer. But I'll get the chapters up faster, I swear. Raise my right hand, the next one will not take this long._

_Oh my God, Wendy killed Kenny! That... Bastard? Can I use bastard for a girl? I don't want to call her a bitch. _

_See you guys in the next chapter!/_


	16. The Terrors of Hell

_/Uh, oh! POV switch coming up! You guys excited? I'm excited. I'm very excited. Big thanks to HoAcrazylover for the review! The goths make me laugh, as well! On to the chapter now, then. _

_I think we all get that I don't own South Park, so I don't think I need to clarify anymore./_

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

God damn, I can't believe she really did it. I seriously thought she was going to pass out and I'd have to shoot myself, but she really did it. I guess that's good, though, I fucking hate killing myself. She ran away as soon as the shot rang out and I fell, so I was left alone for a couple seconds before I died. Looking at the tilted, blurring, abstract version of the night sky through my dying eyes and just barely able to see the blood pouring out from the wound on my forehead. Then everything blurred and went black.

* * *

I awaken in the astral plain like every other time, hoping I won't be sent to Purgatory again. That place is endless nothingness and nobody else is ever there. I despise that place. I cross my fingers to be sent wherever Butters is. There's a mixed chance between Heaven and Hell for Butters. He's a relatively good person, but with all the times he's been roped into Cartman's fucking schemes he could have just as easily been sent to Hell. I guess I'll just have to hope for the best.

"Welcome back to Hell, kid." Damien Thorn says when I hit the flaming ground. "Shot in the head by a chick this time, huh? They're getting duller."

"Fuck off, Damien." I say, standing up. "I wanted to die this time."

"Let me guess," He leads me to one of the slightly-calm-ish corners of Hell. "Because of him."

Butters sits, surrounded by flames, knees pulled up to his chin. There's a spiked belt tied around his neck. I keep forgetting that Hell over-dramatizes the injuries of death. For example, the gunshot wound in my head is now bleeding acid and fire. Fuck Hell, seriously.

"Butters?" I say, kneeling down beside him.

"Ken!" He exclaims, tackling me with a hug.

Damien chuckles and leaves us alone. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but Butters and I both end up in hysterical tears. I'm not going to have a ton of time here, I was killed at about 10:30, and I always come back around midnight. So after we're out of our hysteria, it's time to get serious and shit. So I stand him up.

"Butters. Why the flying fuck did you do that to us?" I demand.

"I didn't want to keep living, Ken. I didn't want to keep gettin' hurt. It's bad enough gettin' picked on by the fellas at school all the time, but when you get picked on by your own parents... No one else gets it."

I grab his shoulders and bend down so our eyes are level and I stare at him intensely.

"You have no. Fucking. Idea. How much I get it." I hiss.

"Your parents love you, Ken."

"Not when they're drunk. You've never seen them drunk before. They get angry. And stupid. And they hit my sister and me. They beat Kevin so hard he turned into them. He turned into them and look at what happened. He's dead. Just like you. But he didn't make that choice on his own, Butters. He didn't choose to rip himself from us. You did. You had the choice to stay, and you decided to rip yourself from the arms of the people who loved you."

"TWO PEOPLE!" He screams suddenly. "TWO PEOPLE GAVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT ME! One of 'em can come see me any time he wants! Why do you care?"

"More people care about you than you think, Butters. Cartman has been a wreck. He hasn't spoken to anyone in three weeks. Stan's been wearing his goth shit again. Clyde can't stop crying. Wendy fucking cut herself for you. And remember that Dougie kid? You were his best friend. I found him crying so hard he threw up by the side of the road, he misses you so much. He was burning his old 'General Disarray' costume just so he wouldn't be reminded of you."

Butters stares at me, a look of ultimate bafflement on his face. He honestly had no idea people gave two shits about him.

"And me?" I continue. "I damn near killed your parents at your funeral, the bastards, for crying over your grave when they did this to you. I started having sex for comfort again until Craig beat the shit out of me. I locked myself in my room in the dark for two weeks. I made out with Wendy even though I'm in love with you."

Fuck. That wasn't supposed to come out yet. He wasn't supposed to know that yet.

"...What?"

Screw it, I'll just roll with it.

"I'm in love with you, Butters. The day Wendy and I found you dead, I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you I loved you, and then we found you hanging from your fucking ceiling. You broke my heart that day. And if you're selfish enough to think nobody misses you, or that it doesn't matter to us that you're gone, maybe I wasted my time."

"K-Ken, I... I..." He stammers.

"Spit it out!" I blurt, unable to wait anymore.

"I'm straight, Ken."

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT FUCKING SHIT HELL JESUS CHRIST FUCK SHIT FUCKER! I came all the way down here when I didn't even fucking have to just to... SHIT! UGH! I didn't fucking need this! Let me tell you right the fuck now, you don't fucking know heartbreak until you're turned down by a fucking dead kid!

Calm down... Calm down, Kenny. You're still alive anyway. You'd have had to move on whether he returned your feelings or not, right? Fuck it, I just need one. I just need to see. I lean downwards, completely disregarding what Butters just said, and plant my lips on his. I just need to kiss him once.

He tenses up a little but relaxes not a moment later. I wrap my arms around him. He leans into me. We don't separate for a good three minutes, but when we do his face is beet red.

"God damn, Ken." He sighs finally, rubbing the back of his neck.

* * *

Of course I come back to life the next day, back in my bed. I might as well go visit Wendy and see if she did forget. I bet she did, but there's a chance she didn't. The goth kids remembered.

"Wendy!" I shout, pounding on her window. She sits up and opens the window.

"C'mon in." She says with a yawn.

I climb in through the window as she sits up, rubbing at the short, choppy hair on her neck. Woah. Wait a second. Short? Choppy?

Holy fuck.

Wendy cut her hair. And she cut it really damn short. I mean, that shit used to be halfway down her back and now it's all choppy and barely even touching her neck.

"So, uh... Your hair." I say, not quite sure what words would be fitting.

"Yeah, I cut it." She replies.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I just felt like cutting it last night. It's been kinda hot lately."

"Do you remember what happened last night?" I ask. "Before you cut it, I mean?"

"You went fucking batshit and asked me to kill you so you could see Butters again. So I sent you home and made you go to bed."

I knew she'd forget. I wish she would have remembered, but what did I even expect? One group of assholes remembers, so now everyone's going to start remembering?

"Oh, well." I mutter. I guess I don't get to tell her how it went.

"Do you want some breakfast or something?" She asks, checking the clock. "My parents said they were going on a walk so it's just us."

"Sure."

Wendy leads me down to the kitchen where we share a quiet breakfast, sitting on her couch and watching morning cartoons. I miss watching cartoons, that was one of my favorite things to do when the gang and I were kids. The only thing that wasn't dangerous and that all of us had fun doing. Even Kyle and Cartman got along sometimes when we'd just watch Terrance and Phillip early in the morning. God damn these nostalgic feelings, now I wish we were kids again.

* * *

_/Sorry for the shorter chapter tonight! The next one will be extra long, promise. Lots of shit is going to happen in the next chapter, so brace yourselves._

_Damien made a cameo! I hope I find a way to get him to appear in this story again, I just realized how much I like that character. Also we got a little trip to Hell and how I picture it would be if I was religious. I like the thought that the cause of death is way over-dramatized in Hell, like bullet wounds bleed acid and everything's on fire and shit. _

_See you guys all next time! Peace out./_


	17. The Stupid Amputation and A Fever

_/Welcome back to my story! Thanks to Kenny and Que for the reviews! No worries, I'll never leave this story. I haven't got a crapton else to say today. I've been busy tidying up my house. Enjoy the chapter!/_

* * *

**Wendy's POV**

I had to kick Kenny out of my house because he started talking about Butters again. Butters and Hell. I told him first to stop making up fantasies and he kept on insisting that it was real. That he'd visited Butters in Hell.

"Butters hasn't gone to Hell, Kenneth, he's too sweet." I said.

"Add up all the times he's been roped into doing terrible shit because he's so naive. It's really hard to get into Heaven, besides. I've only been, like, three times I think." He said.

"You're insane."

"Wendy, listen to me!"

"Either stop making things up or get out of my house, because I'm not in the mood today. I didn't sleep all that well last night."

Kenny sighed and left. I hope I didn't tick him off, but I'm real damn tired. I tried to go back to sleep after he left, but I'd been up for too long, so I decided to take a little walk down to Stark's Pond, where I am now. I always forget how soothing and calm it is there, even if everyone goes. There's only one other person today, throwing rocks into the water.

"Morning, Tucker." I say.

Craig turns around.

"Hey, Testaburger." He says, aggressively tossing a rock at a tree. I join him by the shore. "You cut your hair."

Did I? I bring a hand up to my head. Oh, yeah, I did. Why did I do that, again? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

"Yeah."

"It looks nice."

Holy mother of God. I think that's the first time I've heard Craig Tucker, of all fucking people, pay anyone a compliment. And to me, nonetheless.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

Craig pauses and looks at me, then absently drops his rock into the pond.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, dude. Are _you_ okay? You might have a case of Chronic Giving-A-Fuck."

"Oh, ha, ha. She's a funny bitch, too." He chucks another rock.

I sigh audibly so he knows I'm pissed off. He tosses me a large stone. I throw it in the pond and grin at the satisfactory loud splash. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. What was that? Did I just see a little smile? The teensiest, tinsiest, twitch of a smile from Craig Tucker? This day just gets more and more surreal.

"How come I'm suddenly a bitch?" I ask.

"You've always been a bitch. All the girls are bitches. You're just slightly less bitchy than all the others."

"Ah. Well then in that case, all the guys are assholes."

"And Kenny's the slightly okay one, huh?"

"No, he's an asshole, too. But he was there when I needed him."

Craig remains silent for a moment. He picks up a big-ass fucking rock and heaves it into the pond, splashing water all over the both of us.

"Bitches like assholes. Golden rule." He says.

"I'm not a fucking bitch!" I shout suddenly, and punch that asshole square in the face.

Why? I have no fucking idea! But once I see the little drops of blood fly from his mouth, I can't stop punching him. It feels good. I go numb, shoving him against the tree and repeatedly punching his face in. He sends his knee upwards into my crotch and I slam the back of his head into the tree.

"Wendy!" He shouts. "Wendy Testaburger!"

My fist lowers. I breathe in and out evenly. Craig coughs up blood. My head pounds and my ears ring. My legs give out and I fall forwards. Craig catches me weakly in one arm, bringing the other up to his head. We both collapse.

"God damn, Wendy." He breathes. "Stop one-upping me."

I smile weakly, realizing how sweaty and hot I am. It was winter five seconds ago and I'm burning hot. Oh, fuck, I'd better not have a god damn fever. My breaths turn shaky and I go limp in Craig's arm. Head on his shoulder. He coughs violently and I see blood leak onto his hand. He spits out another tooth. My grip tightens on him as I begin coughing as well, but my coughing quickly turns to vomiting. He leans back against the tree, breathing heavily, in pain, and I vomit. It burns in my throat but I get all the bile out, and everything quickly fades to black.

* * *

I wake with a burning sensation in my chest and at the roof of my mouth. I cough, feeling more vomit make its way up my throat and try to hold it in. Someone sets a bucket on my lap, which I take gratefully. There's a hand on my back, rubbing gently as I retch. Just like my mom always does at home.

"Let it all out. You're alright." He murmurs.

I glance up to see Stan, smiling sympathetically. I almost start laughing at the irony. I fall back on my pillow. Oh, hey, I'm in a hospital bed, by the way. Forgot to mention that. Who brought me here? Was it Stan? He's right here, after all.

"Morning, bitch." A familiar female voice says.

I sit up slightly and, guess who? Bebe Stevens.

"Hi, Bebe." I say awkwardly. I can tell she's still pissed at me for knocking her out and then ignoring her for two months.

She nods at me and slumps down slightly in her chair. I haven't got anything valid to say. I _have _been ignoring her. I _did _knock her out. Her anger is completely justified. Stan bites his lip and takes a few steps back.

"So..." He says slowly. "Heh. Well, I think I'm going to head out now, give you two some time to catch up or some shit."

"No, you stay, I'm going to leave." Bebe says, standing up.

"Bebe, wait." I say. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told you to piss off and I'm sorry I hit you. I wasn't having the best day. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, and... And I'm sorry I've been calling you a slut behind your back."

Bebe sighs and sits on the side of the hospital bed.

"Look, Wendy, I know you've been having a pretty bad couple of months. Hell, a pretty bad year, what with both Stan and Kenny turning out gay. And I know you'd gotten close to Butters before he killed himself. I know you've been feeling angry and confused lately, but that's no reason to take it out on your friends. I've missed you, Wendy, but I don't want to be around you when you're angry and beating people up. You're still my best friend. So call me when you get over it."

She gives me a little smile, then walks out. Wow.

"She found you, you know." Stan says suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Bebe was the one who found you. Passed out in your own vomit. And Craig, too. He couldn't get up. She brought you here and called me to pick up Craig. He's just behind that curtain, asleep. She may seem pissed off, but she still cares about you."

I know she still cares about me. But I haven't given her a reason to. I haven't given anyone a reason to lately. I pushed Kenny away, I beat up Craig for no reason, I've potentially spoiled all my friendships, and yet they've all stuck around. But why? Why do they still care?

"Is Craig okay?" I ask.

"He's alright. You broke his nose, though."

"Shit."

Stan smiles.

"Do you need anything? I could go get you something to eat or whatever. Unless you just want to be alone." He asks.

"No, you can stay. I don't want to be alone." I say quickly. "I have a fever, don't I?"

"Yeah, a pretty bad one, too. You shouldn't have gone outside. You're going to have to stay here until it breaks, then you can go home."

I groan. I've never been all that fond of hospitals, and who knows how long it'll be until this fever breaks? I bring my arms out from under the covers. My right hand still has the bandages wrapped around it, but my left hand- Wait. _MY LEFT HAND IS FUCKING MISSING!_

"Did they _seriously _cut off my fucking hand?!" I cry.

"Yeah. When the doctor saw the bandages, Craig told them you'd cut yourself a few days ago. He said the cuts on the left hand were too severe, so he gave you anesthesia to keep you asleep and amputated. The doctors in this town, I swear."

I smile. It's so true. I just hope I don't get some stupid infection from this shit. He sits on the side of my bed. Making casual small talk. Comforting me. After a little bit there's a stirring behind the curtain a few feet away.

"Hey, assholes!" Craig shouts.

Stan gets up and pulls the curtain back. A tired, irritable-looking Craig sits with a little plate-bandage-thing around his nose and two or so cotton balls stuffed in his mouth to stop the bleeding. His little guinea pig, Stripe, climbs up onto him. He smiles just slightly at the small creature and starts playing with it.

"Hi, Craig." I say.

"Testaburger."

"Sorry I beat the shit out of you. I don't know what my problem is lately."

"It's fine. I'll get out of this hellhole in an hour or so anyway."

He lets Stripe climb up his arm onto his shoulder. I swear, that boy loves that animal more than life itself.

"So how's Stripe doing?" I ask suddenly.

"He's fine." Craig says.

I glance up at Stan, who shakes his head. The poor animal _is _pretty old, I suppose.

"How are _you _doing?" Stan asks.

"My head hurts." Craig and I say in unison.

I look over in amusement and just barely catch a glimpse of his face before he turns away. Was he blushing? Stan grins.

"Well, I'm going to get a move on. I've got plans." He says.

"Don't let Kyle give you an STD." Craig says with fake sincerity.

"Oh, ha ha. So funny."

"Damn straight, I'm fucking hysterical."

"Sure you are." Stan snorts. "I'll be back in an hour or so. Try not to kill each other while I'm out."

Craig and I make brief eye contact before he rolls his eyes. Stan leaves. I not-so-discreetly watch Craig play with Stripe for a short while before the little animal falls asleep. I lay back on my pillow, tired, hot, and sick. I kick off the covers and shut my eyes. Maybe I'll have one of those terrifying dreams and my fever will break. Then I can go home. Yeah... Home sounds nice. Home sounds real nice. I just want to sit on my couch all day in pajamas watching Disney movies. That sounds... Awesome.

* * *

Holy shit did I fall asleep? How long has it been? I can sleep for an entire day with a fever. It's probably been hours. The nurse has probably come and gone with meals and Craig has probably gone home by now. The lucky bastard. I blink the sleep crust out of my eyes and glance at the clock. Midnight. Jesus Christ. My forehead is slick with sweat and my bangs are damp. My left hand is still missing, bloody bandages wrapped around the little stump. God dammit, that wasn't a dream? The doctors in this town are idiots. I shift in the bed and realize there's something tucked under my arm. I grab at the item. It's warm and fuzzy and squirms in my hand. _Holyshitit'salive. _I switch on the light. It's a motherfucking guinea pig! Why the fuck did Craig leave Stripe with me? Oh wait, he wrote something on my arm.

**Give him back when you get out of that shit hole.**

I snort. Looks like I've got some company.

* * *

_/Huzzah! Six pages on Google Drive! I think that's the longest yet! Okay, so about Wendy losing her hand... It was originally just stitches but I was watching a bunch of episodes where the kids end up in the hospital and holy crap the doctors in South Park are idiots. Pretty much all the adults in South Park are idiots, that's what makes it so funny, actually... But I figured they'd do something really damn drastic after finding the wounds on her hands. And since I didn't want to torture Wendy too much, I decided that since her right hand would be the strongest, the wounds on her left hand would be the worst so they only amputated her left hand. Hahaha I'm terrible._

_Oh, and Stripe will definitely play a part later on. That ending wasn't just something I could end on like everything else, it'll amount to something. See you next time!/_


	18. The Necromancy Idea

_/Welcome back, friends! I have emerged from the dust of Film School once again to bring you the next chapter! A huge thank-you to Kenny for the review, and I hope you all enjoy today's installment!/_

* * *

I manage to keep my focus on Stripe, somehow not entirely losing interest. Not even when the animal falls asleep. Wow, I can see why Craig likes him so much. Soon there's a sharp knock on my door.

"Enter!" I say.

The door opens and Kenny walks in. I wave my stump at him.

"Hey, Wendy. Yeah, Stan told me they cut off your hand." He says, wincing when he sees the bandages.

"Next time you see Butters you'd better let him know this is his fault." I say sarcastically, pointing the stump at the ceiling. "My phantom hand is flipping him off."

"He's, uh... He's in Hell." Kenny says quietly. I point my arm at the floor. "Yeah. I'll be sure to let him know for you."

"You're still trying to convince me you talked to him, huh Kenneth?" I ask.

"I did! God dammit, why doesn't anybody ever remember? Listen, I might have found a way to get his spirit back to the mortal world for a while so all of us can get closure. But I need your help and I need you to trust me."

"Kenneth, how many times do I have to tell you? You had some stupid lucid dream or whatever. You never saw Butters."

Kenny sits in the chair beside the hospital bed and crosses his arms defiantly.

"Do you trust me?"

"...What?"

"_Do you trust me, Wendy?_"

"I... I... Yes. Yes, I trust you."

"Then please, please for the love of God, Wendy. Listen to me." I nod. "Thank you. Now, I think I have a way to get Butters to cross over to the mortal world. I don't know how long it'll last, and I don't know exactly what... Exactly what he might _be _when we see him, but I know how to do it. And I know I can't do it without you."

I wish I could tell him to stop talking nonsense and pull his head out of his ass, but I _did _agree to listen to him.

"Are you suggesting a seance?" I ask.

"No. I'm suggesting necromancy. If we can get to Damien, he might help us. And I'll need you to do something a little scary for me." Kenny says.

"What do you need me to do?"

"I can't tell you here. When you can leave, as soon as you get out of here, I need you to meet me in the graveyard. I'll tell you what we have to do there."

"Okay, I'll meet you after I drop Stripe off." I say.

"No. Don't go anywhere else, come straight to the graveyard. No matter what time it is. You can drop Stripe off later."

I glance down at the guinea pig sleeping on my chest. I suppose I'll be able to wait a little bit. Craig won't find out. I agree to meet Kenny at the graveyard as soon as I leave the hospital. He leaves quickly. Soon after, I get more visitors. Stan and Kyle come by to check on me, and are later joined by Bebe. The boys leave us alone. She sits on the side of my bed and I sit up, careful not to wake Stripe.

"He left the little beast with you?" She asks, surprised.

"Yeah. The company's been nice." I say.

"You must be, like, his best friend or something. He doesn't trust anyone with that animal. He barely ever even lets _Clyde_ pet it."

"Really? Isn't Clyde his best friend?"

"Those two have such a bromance I thought they were gay for each other for a while. But then that whole thing on the tower happened and I was proven wrong."

I smile. A whole bunch of us took a trip to Denver last summer to spend the day at Elitch Gardens. Clyde and Bebe first kissed at the top of the Tower of Doom and they've been together ever since. I was so jealous that day. Stan couldn't go on hardly any of the rides without throwing up, so we didn't get a romantic moment like that. It was still a fun day, but it would've been nice to have a boyfriend with a stronger stomach.

"Anyway," I say. "I'm really sorry for how I've been the past few months. I've been acting like such a bitch. You don't deserve that, none of the other girls deserve that, and I need to get over myself."

"I forgive you, Wendy. All of us forgive you. I think we've all gone through this before, and we've all been really fucking insensitive to you. Especially me." Bebe looks at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I said you were the only girl Kenny didn't want to bang. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut, I realize now. Because it doesn't matter that he didn't get intimate with you. He cared enough to spend real time with you. And you know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think that Kenny may be bi, that he may have been in love with Butters, but I think he loves you, too. Maybe not romantically, but he does love you. I can see it. The way he looks at you. He cares for you more than he cares for almost anybody else."

I blush, smiling at the floor. Kenny loves me. Platonically? Yeah, that's the word. Platonic love.

"Thank you, Bebe. I really don't deserve a friend like you." I say, pulling her down into a hug.

Bebe smiles and hugs me back. When she lets go, I fall back onto the pillow. We chat idly for a little while longer as I gradually get more and more tired. Soon I can hardly form sentences I'm so tired, and Bebe remains quiet as I slowly fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up with a start, head shooting up off my pillow. My room is empty now. I'm hot. In a cold sweat. My short hair is completely drenched in sweat. I push off the sheets to try and cool down, but it doesn't work. I grin. My fever just broke. I can go home now. A nurse stands in the doorway, shocked by my sudden awakening.

"Well, Miss Testaburger, it seems you can go home now. Do you feel up to leaving?" She asks.

"I feel great. Thank you." I say, standing up.

"Good. I'll call your parents and get you signed out."

"Actually, my parents are at work right now." I glance at the clock. "I can sign myself out, and when they come by you can let them know I'm gone."

"Okay, then, if you're sure. We'll just call them to let them know you'll be going home, and you can sign yourself out."

I quickly tuck Stripe in my coat pocket and follow the nurse to the front desk. The man at the front desk tells me to go straight home just to be safe, then I sign myself out. I derail off the path home, straight to the graveyard like Kenny asked. I catch sight of him quickly, sitting perched on Butters' tombstone.

"Wendy!" He says, waving.

"Hey, Kenneth!" I say, joining him. "Tell me now. What is it we have to do?"

"You might want to sit." I do. "Alright. Before I tell you, I need to clarify that you trust me to no ends. Without a doubt, complete trust."

"I swear, I trust you, Kenneth."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I trust you to the end of the Earth."

Kenny takes a deep breath. My heart speeds up, starting to worry a bit now. What is he going to suggest I do? It has to be pretty frightening, or else he wouldn't be acting this way.

"You have to let me kill you."

* * *

_/Dun, dun, DUNNNN! Sorry, I had to. Another kinda short chapter, but anything else I added would have literally just been filler. I didn't want to just fill dead air with more dead air, so it's short. But the next one is already half-written, and will definitely be longer, so it'll be worth it! I promise!/_


	19. The Choice

_/I'm back! I said this one would come quicker, didn't I? Haha. Well, on to the chapter!/_

* * *

_KILL ME?! _Is he fucking kidding? He'd better be fucking kidding! If Kenny thinks I'm going to do something like this for him he's got another thing fucking coming! This has gone from an absurd fantasy to completely, horrifyingly insane. He really thinks this is all real and he is willing to risk my god damn life because of it! Well, I'm not going to let him.

"Wendy, I know this sounds crazy, but please-" Kenny starts slowly.

"No, no, no. Not this time." I interrupt, grabbing him by his shirt collar angrily. "_You _listen to _me _this time. I know you miss Butters, Kenneth. I do, too. But you need to wake up. Right. Now. Because if you don't, you're only going to hurt yourself, and you're going to hurt others. And I can tell you right now, there is no way I am dying because of your stupid dream."

I release him and he just stares at me. Understandingly.

"You said you trust me, Wendy. So let me explain." He pleads.

"You have one minute." I say.

"I was speaking with the goths the other day. They were the ones who suggested necromancy. I read up on the subject and we need a human sacrifice to be killed by an immortal - That's me - so they might be imbued with the powers. When you die, you'll meet up with Damien. He'll know that I was the one who killed you. If you tell him what happened, if you tell him what we want, I mean... Well... If he agrees, he'll transfer his necromancy powers into you. This will turn _you _immortal, and you'll return. Then you'll be able to bring Butters back to the mortal realm."

Ifhe agrees? _If_ he agrees? This has to be a fucking joke.

"And what? When you heard 'human sacrifice' you instantly thought of me?" I shout. "Am I that disposable to you? Just because I'm in love with you, you think I'll do anything for you at the drop of a god damn hat? You're thinking of the wrong fucking girl, Kenneth."

Kenny studies me. This time a look of pain on his face. Why should he be hurt? I'm the one who's going to die! I'm the prop in this scheme! Why should I believe his stupid immortality claims? I don't have to believe everything he says just because I love him! ...Do I?

"I did not think of you because you are disposable. I thought of you because you are trusting. Three days ago, Wendy, try to remember. When all odds pointed to me never returning, you pulled the trigger because you believed that I might come back. You trusted my judgement even though it was completely insane. No one has ever trusted me like that. It meant the world to me. But if you're only going to trust me like that when I'm the one in danger, you might as well rethink what 'love' really is."

...He's right. Whatever it is I did, I believed him. I promised that I trusted him. And now I'm going back on that promise. Now I'm putting my life ahead of his. That is not what love is. In this one instant, the student bests the teacher. I am being selfish. If I really love Kenny, if I really care for him like I think I do... If I really trust him as much as I say... I have to let him do this. I mean, next to everything else I've seen, this scheme really isn't too crazy. In fact, that Mole kid or whatever his name is. He died during the war against Canada and he came back in the end because... Because of Kenny. I take a deep breath before making my final decision.

"Do it." I say.

"What?"

"You're right. I'm being selfish, Kenneth. If I care about you as much as I say I do, if you're as close to a... To a brother as I say you are, I have to trust you. Do it. K-kill me."

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it already before I change my mind!"

Kenny slowly takes his handgun out of his jacket pocket. I lower my head, ready to be shot. I refuse to die down on my knees. I will not die vulnerable. He holds the gun with steady hands.

"See you soon, Wendy." Kenny whispers, and pulls the trigger.

I feel an agonizing, splitting pain shoot through my forehead as the bullet makes its impact. Warm blood trickles down my face. My vision grows fuzzy and I fall to my knees, collapsing on my back in the soft grass. I can just barely make out black boots arriving on the scene. The last thing I hear is a scream before everything goes black. That's it.

I'm dead.

* * *

*Kenny's POV*

She died almost instantly. My hands tremble when I see her lying there, blood pouring from her forehead. Eyes open but not seeing. I drop the gun and suddenly hear a scream. I turn around. Bebe Stevens and Clyde Donovan stand a foot or so away from me. They saw me shoot Wendy. Clyde stands frozen, staring at the girl I just killed. Terrified. But not Bebe. No, Bebe is angry. She doesn't hesitate. Teeth clenched, she kicks me to the ground. Before I can get up, her foot is planted on the side of my head.

"I might as well kill you right here, you backstabbing bastard!" She screams, pushing down on my skull. She could crush it in seconds. I don't blame her for wanting to.

But she doesn't. I brace myself, waiting for the blow, but it doesn't come. Instead, a frantic Clyde pulls his angry, murderous girlfriend off me.

"Bebe, don't!" He cries.

"Why not?! Why the fuck not, huh?! He deserve it!" Bebe screams, thrashing in his arms to get to me. "She loved you! She loved you so much and you killed her!"

"Calm down! Please calm down!"

Bebe finally relaxes, but I see her eyes drift to the fallen gun. I try to get to it, but she's faster than me. In less than in instant she's free from Clyde's grasp and there's a gun pointed at me. She grits her teeth in anger.

"Bebe," I begin.

"Tell me why!" She cuts me off. "Tell me right now why you killed her or I swear to God I will kill _you!_"

I put up my hands submissively.

"No matter what I say, you're going to kill me anyway." I say calmly.

"You have five seconds! Then I pull the trigger." She screams.

"This is pointless."

"One." Clyde tries to pull her back but she just shrugs him off. "Two."

"Just out the gun down. We can settle this peacefully." I try to reason.

"Three."

"Bebe..."

"FOUR. One last chance, Kenny."

I shut my eyes, awaiting the inevitable shot. It doesn't matter what I say, she won't believe me. I'm going to get shot anyway, and I'm going to come back anyway. So why does it even matter to me?

"Don't do it, Bebe!" Clyde pleads.

"FIVE!"

I don't move. Bebe's hand trembles. Her trigger finger twitches. She stares at me, nervously sweating as her hands shake violently.

"I asked her first." I blurt out suddenly.

"What does that mean?" Bebe demands.

"She knew I had to kill her! She agreed to die!"

"_Don't lie to me!_"

I remain silent and still. I glance down at Wendy's body. Blood trickles down the side of her head, dripping onto her limp hand. Something in her coat pocket stirs and the little guinea pig she had with her in the hospital, Craig's pet, crawls put. Stripe creeps around her stomach and starts nipping at her clothes. I bend down to let the creature into my hands, only to be stopped by a cold and angry voice.

"Don't touch him, McCormick." Craig snarls. "Don't touch _her._"

He shoves past Clyde and grabs me in his clutches, lifting me off the ground so our eyes are level.

"Kill me if you want. Both of us will come back either way." I scoff.

"You're _sick, _McCormick. What is it? Any girl that won't let you bang them deserves to die? Any girl strong enough to turn down the Lord of the Vag isn't deserving of life?"

"You don't understand, Craig."

"I understand plenty, you sick mother fucker. You're lucky I'm not going to let _you _die right now. Drop the gun, Bebe."

"What?" Bebe protests.

"I said drop it." After a moment's hesitation, Bebe obeys. Craig drops me and gives me a hard shove. "Now get outta my sight."

He gently tucks Stripe in his jacket pocket and picks up Wendy's body. He carries her off, probably back to her home to let her parents know she's dead. I don't protest. I don't know why I don't protest, I just can't find the words. Bebe gives me one last solid kick in the crotch and walks off, followed by a silent, terrified Clyde.

I got out alive. For once, _I _got out alive.

* * *

_/Woop, mid-chapter POV switch! The chapter was waay too short ending it where Wendy died, so I figured I'd switch POVs early and kill two birds with one stone. Next chapter you'll get some of Wendy's adventures in Hell, and another Damien cameo! Who knows, maybe Pip will make an appearance. Should I give Pip a cameo, too? Let me know. See all you lovelies next time!/_


	20. The Realization

_/Greetings! I have returned. Hoshit twenty chapters. Thank you, Jack Writes for Some Reason and maleia18 for the reviews, you are both lovely! Multiple POV switches await in this chapter, but for now we cut back to Wendy in Hell and I have no idea why I'm doing this I'm not a Sadist, I'm not Christian, I'm not even religious I'm Agnostic what am I doing with my life?/_

* * *

*Wendy's POV*

I sit back against the wall of Satan's flaming establishment. He invited me in after Damien introduced me in hopes of getting the kid a girlfriend or something. Satan is definitely not what I expected. Damien sits down in front of me.

"Let me get this straight. Kenny McCormick killed you so I would give you necromancy powers as part of some scheme to get closure with that Stotch kid?" He asks.

"Yes." I say.

"Why did you let him kill you?"

"Because I love him. I trust him."

Damien raises his eyebrow at me. I tilt my head questioningly.

"I do not think it is Kenny who is deserving of your affection and trust." He says, fiddling with the upside-down cross around his neck.

"What do you mean by _that?_" I ask.

"Two people's bloods were spilt when you died." What? Damien sighs. "You were given a blood transfusion when your hand was amputated. You have the blood of a person who cares more for you than anyone inside you, and that person is not Kenny. It may be that you have been so focused on finding this romantic love that you have forgotten all that was truly important in your life. Have lost sight of the truest love that has been right in front of you your whole life."

Someone had to give me blood? I didn't think I'd lost that much when I cut.

"Whose is it?" I ask.

"That's for you to find out when you return to the mortal realm."

Well there is that... But to be honest... I'm not entirely sure I really want to go back anymore. I don't have to feel much of anything here. Being dead, I don't have anything to worry about or to bother me anymore. No need to sacrifice anything for Kenny. No feeling that I owe him something because I... Because... I do... No. I _don't. _

_I don't love Kenny. _

Maybe I never did. Maybe I was just confused. I don't want to be confused anymore. I don't want to have to worry about anything anymore.

"I don't think I want to go back. I think I'll just leave well enough alone and stay dead." I decide.

"You can't do that." Damien protests.

"I can. I don't have anything to worry about here. There are no debts I feel I owe, no fights, no drama, nothing to confuse me. I can stay here forever."

"No, you literally can't. You came here with a mission. A purpose. And by Hell's Law I am not permitted to allow you to stay. You have to fulfill this purpose. You have to leave."

Hell has laws? I thought this shit was just anarchy all the way. So I _have _to leave...

"No choice?" I ask.

"No choice." Damien confirms. "Are you ready?"

I stand up and extend my arms confidently.

"Bring me back to life then." I say.

Damien takes off his upside-down cross.

"Alright. Here's how this works. I'll put this charm on you. That'll temporarily give you all my powers. You do your necromancy shit and bring your friend back. This is really important, so listen. Don't, by any circumstances, _no matter what, _take off the cross until everything is taken care of. The moment you do, Butters will be sent right back here and you won't be able to get him back." He explains.

"Got it. Don't take off the cross until everything is done. I'm ready."

"Good luck."

I take the upside-down cross and place it around my neck. Almost instantly I feel a burning, pounding sensation in my chest. Something pushes down hard.

Again.

Again.

I take in a deep, harsh breath that stings in my throat and open my eyes. I'm not in Hell anymore. Instead I'm surrounded by darkness. I try to sit up, but bang my head on a thin velvet cushion. I know what that means; I'm in a casket. I'd better not be underground yet or this shit will all be for nothing. I push up on the lid of the casket. It hardly moves. Must already be nailed shut. I could shout, but I doubt I'll be heard.

Oh, yeah. Hey, wait!

I can get myself out of this thing! I squeeze my eyes shut, concentrating all the unholy powers that now stir within me. This time when I push up on the lid, it bursts open in flames. I stand up inside the casket, raising my fists triumphantly.

"_Wendy Testaburger lives!_" I shout.

I've always wanted to say something like that. Unfortunately, that probably wasn't the best idea. My mom screams and grabs onto my dad's arm. Really, the entire funeral erupts in screams. Father Maxi drops his Bible and falls back in shock.

"Wendy?" Stan shouts, standing up. "Holy shit, dude!"

I jump down and out of the casket. Father Maxi grabs the regular cross around his neck and holds it out at me.

"Get back! Unholy demon spawn!" He cries.

Nothing happens, luckily. No pain, no burning, no nothing. Probably because the powers are temporary.

"Wait!" Someone shouts from the back. Kenny stands up. "Don't do anything! I can explain all of this!"

* * *

*Kenny's POV*

I run to join Wendy. She holds fire in her one remaining hand and her once-brown eyes now glow a frightening bloodred.

"Don't try to explain anything, you sick bastard! Not after _you _killed her!" Bebe screams, advancing.

Clyde stands up and pulls her back down.

"No, it's okay." Wendy says. "Let him speak."

"Thank you, Wendy." I say. "There are two reasons why all of this happened. One of those reasons is named Love. The other Selfishness. After Butters Stotch killed himself, I was a broken man. Nothing made me happy anymore. I needed closure. I was able to get that closure by using my immortality to visit Butters in Hell. But I realized that I can't kill myself all the time just to see him, I need to live my life. And perhaps there were others who needed the closure, too. So I spoke with those assholes, over there. The goths."

"Don't bring us into this, you conformist asshole." Henrietta shouts from the back.

"They suggested I use necromancy to get Butters back for a little while. When I read up on the subject, I realized we needed a human sacrifice to be killed by an immortal so as to have the potential in death to be given the powers of a necromancer."

"That's me." Wendy says dully, waving.

"I asked Wendy to do it because of my undying selfishness. And she agreed because of her undying love. Now she can bring Butters back to us for however long it takes us to get closure."

I smile at Wendy, grateful for all she's done for me, only for that smile to be wiped off my face in an instant when I see her expression. Her eyes are narrowed, her teeth clenched in anger. Flames rise in her hand and flicker in her eyes. Her angry, terrifying, red eyes. I back up, fearful as of what she might do. The fire all around her flares as she steps towards me. What did I do wrong? Why is she suddenly so angry with me?

"I could kill you if I wanted to, but that would have no point, would it? You'd just come back to life anyway!" She snarls.

"Wendy, what d-did I do?" I stammer.

"You'll find out. But you know what? You know the fuck what?"

"W-what?"

"_I'm _the one who's learned something today." Wendy climbs up on the podium. "I've learned that sometimes, terrible things happen. Sometimes you lose people. And you'd do anything to get them back, even for a second. I've learned about letting go. It's a very hard thing to do. It takes time. But if you love someone, you have to. It's time you learned to do just that, Kenneth."

She grabs the upside-down cross in her flaming hand and rips it off her neck, throwing it to the ground and crushing it under her feet. The flames die down and the red fades from her eyes, but I can still see the anger in them. Clear as day. She jumps back down from the podium and returns to my side.

"Wendy!" I shout.

"Let go, Kenneth. Move on. You don't need to use other fucking people to ease your fucking pain because, you know what? Other people feel that fucking pain, too." She jabs her finger into my chest with every word. "But that's not all I learned today, not even fucking close. I also learned about love. You may feel the need to do anything for someone if you think you're in love with them. But you don't. You never owe anything to anyone, even if you may love them. And I learned today that I don't love you, Kenny McCormick. And I don't owe you anything."

* * *

*Wendy's POV*

That felt amazing. I've never felt this way before. This... Release of emotion just rushing out of me. I don't love Kenny. I don't think I ever did. And I don't feel I owe a thing to anyone at all. Not anymore. I stand, dizzy, unable to move, and hear someone slowly start clapping. Others join in and suddenly, I'm in the center of a large, loud round of applause. A standing ovation. I am being respected.

"You're... You're right, Wendy." Kenny says quietly. "You didn't deserve to be degraded in this way. I've been treating you like a prop because of your feelings, because that's all I saw you for. And I was wrong. I've been missing out on your friendship this whole time."

I pull Kenny into a friendly hug, ecstatic that the rising sensation in my heart is now missing. I do not love him anymore, and I could not be happier.

"I forgive you, you stupid asshole." I whisper.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have one last thing to take care of." Kenny says, and pulls his handgun out of his pocket one last time, promptly shooting himself.

"Don't worry," I say when someone screams. "He'll be back. Now if it pleases in motherfucking sparkles, I'd like to ask who it was that gave their blood to me when my hand was amputated."

Damn, I haven't used 'pleases in sparkles' since the fifth grade. It just felt appropriate, I guess. Bebe stands up from her position in the front row.

"It was me." She says.

I rush to her side, pulling her into my arms.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me." I say.

That was what Damien meant, wasn't it? I've been so busy looking for love in Kenny that I've been missing what was in front of me all along. Don't jump to conclusions, you sick freaks, there are different kinds of love, you know. I've been missing out on the purest, truest love there is. That which is only between two best friends.

Platonic love.

* * *

_/This story is almost over! One more chapter left. The epilogue will come very soon. I have been planning it for a very long time and it is almost upon us. Really quickly, though, I'd like to thank all of you guys for sticking with this story. I love you all platonically, like Wendy said. You all have no idea how much your reviews have meant to me! Thank you so much, and I'll see you in the epilogue!/_


	21. The Epilogue

_/Hey everyone! Well, looks like this is it. The last chapter. After this I'll be moving on to other stories, other fanfics. Thank you to the two Guests and alece922 for the reviews! I'd also like to thank everyone for sticking with me this whole time while I write my first fanfic! You're all great and wonderful!/_

Well, it's already been about three months since all that shit went down. I've started having to wear my bangs to hide the bullet wound on my forehead. I wish it had disappeared, like whenever Kenny dies, but he's reborn in a new body each time. I wasn't. Fucking Damien...

Speaking of Kenny, I don't hang out with him quite as much anymore. We meet sometimes, just to catch up, but we don't do all that much together. He's been visiting Butters every month. I'm proud that he's easing his way through letting go. You know, I don't really hang out with any of the boys that much anymore. I've been edging my way back in with the girls. Bebe especially. We've become like sisters again. In fact, I'm leaving her house right now.

I walk down the street, deciding to take a little stroll through the neighborhood before going back home. Everything seemed to mostly work out, didn't it? I've repaired my closest friendship, I successfully came back from the dead, I saved Kenny from himself. The only things wrong are my missing hand, this stupid hole in my head and this strange, empty, hollow feeling in my heart. Like something is missing. Like this story isn't quite over yet.

I pass Craig's house at the end of the block and pause before turning the corner. He and his little sister, Ruby, sit on the front lawn together, in front of a small mound of dirt. Ruby leans into her brother's side, eyes shut tight. Craig is on his knees, head buried in his hands. Oh. Oh, no. I know exactly what this means.

Stripe died.

The one thing that boring, emotionless Craig ever seemed to give a shit about is gone. I watch Ruby reach behind her and turn back with an old, batter Calvin and Hobbes book. Craig always seemed to like that strip when we were kids. She flips through the pages, pausing at one which she carefully rips out of the book and passes to her brother. He reads it and smiles very slightly, pulling Ruby closer. He places the page on the ground, over the mound of dirt where Stripe must be buried.

Should I move along? I feel awkward just standing here, but I'd feel rude to see this and walk away without doing something. Trying to comfort him. He has Ruby, though, right? He should be fine. Yeah. I walk away slowly, trying not to glance back. I mean... I feel sort of bad. But why should I? There isn't anything I can do for him. It's not like I know how this will affect him, or if it will really have any weight later on at all. Will he be the same next week? Will he change completely because the one thing he gave a shit about is gone? Will he be more emotional now? Will he still be so... So... Caring? Compassionate? I can't believe I'm using those words to describe _Craig. _

But, I mean... The more I think about it, they're actually true. Underneath his uncaring, dull demeanor, I've noticed recently that Craig is actually very caring and compassionate. I mean, just look at his group. Look how sensitive Clyde is. Tweek gets stressed at the drop of a hat. Literally, my hat fell off once and he flipped his shit. Even Token, one of the most reserved people I've ever met, needs someone to talk to sometimes. And who better than Craig to do that? The one with the least emotional problems, the one with hardly anything to worry about. The one who doesn't give a shit about much of anything.

I've seen him. He lets Clyde hug him when his emotions overflow. He lets Tweek squeeze his hand when he has a meltdown. And when Token's had a bad day, he simply sits him down and lets him rant. But he's not just like that with those guys. In fact, there may be something I've left out. Something I didn't quite register even happened until... Well, until now.

When Stan broke up with me, he originally refused to tell me why. And while I'm embarrassed to admit it, I was a mess. I cried. A lot. And who should I bump into but Craig fucking Tucker. I couldn't stop crying. I was a complete wreck. And Craig knew why. He didn't even have to ask, he knew exactly what happened. He started out awkwardly patting my back, but soon it was his arm around my shoulders and he was leading me to his house, down to his laundry room. Before I was fully aware of what was going on, I'd started helping him fold clean clothes.

And it totally helped.

It's ended up a thing I do. When I get angry or stressed, I'll just grab a stack of shirts or something from my dresser and refold them to calm myself down. Unfortunately I noticed the scissors first the day I cut...

Suddenly I realize something. Craig is always there. It was him who was there for me first, not Kenny. And Craig isn't there because he feels he owes you something. He's just there because he can be. Because he _wants _to be. Because he's a good friend. And he's my friend, too. It's high time I returned the favor. So I turn on my heel and march myself back down the block. Ruby has gone back inside, but Craig still sits by the mound of dirt. I sit beside him on the lawn, taking his arm gently.

"Wendy?" He asks. He just called me by my first name.

"Hi, Craig." I say, putting a comforting arm around him.

He stares at me for a moment, puzzled, but soon his head his buried in my shoulder and he's letting it all out. All the emotions I didn't know he even had in him. I hold him, letting him cry for as long as he needs. Like he did for me. I glance at the paper resting on Stripe's little grave. It's the last one. The last very Calvin and Hobbes strip.

After a little while Craig looks up at me. I smile softly at him. He reaches up and gently pushes my long bangs out of my eyes. I gently lift his chin up so his face is close to mine and our lips lock. It doesn't take words. It doesn't take confirmation. All it takes is one kiss, and I know that Craig Tucker is mine. And I am his.

_/That's all, folks! This story is over. The 'surprise' pairing was Crendy, although I don't think I can really call it a surprise. A few of you totally called it, didn't you? Guest, HoAcrazylover, and maleia18, you all deserve brownies for guessing the surprise couple correctly! And I mean the good kind of brownies, too. Like these ones one of my teachers used to make. Those brownies were amazing. In fact, all of you fantastic, kind people deserve brownies for following me, and reviewing this story and being so nice! Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much that has meant to me! Oh, and anyone who'd like to take a guess at what It means that Ruby gave Craig the last Calvin and Hobbes strip (Which I don't own, by the way), go ahead._

_Well... That's all I've got to say. I think I can leave this story be now. Move on to whichever idea pops into my head next. I'll see you guys in the next fanfic!/_


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